An ex colleague of mine was seriously into Nigella Lawson. The curvy, sexy TV cook would hypnotise him with her rich voice, ample bosom and “fuck me” looks. His wife knew it, I knew it, anyone who talked to him knew it.
Then one day I mentioned to him how old she was – more than 20 years his senior. The effect was quite dramatic “Noooooooooo!” he said. Now, I don’t think that the revelation about her age has put him off the gorgeous Ms Lawson but it certainly tempered his numerous torrid fantasies about her.
I can understand his change in attitude on one level because fantasies are just that, built on your concept of the attributes of prospective partner, be that partner real or totally imagined. His fantasy gland had to make a paradigm shift to accommodate the new information about her age.
Personally I think of it as experience. I don’t find all older women attractive but those who I do find attractive are often sexy because of their age, or perhaps more appropriately experience. No, I don’t have a “younger man being educated by an older women in the ways of sex” thing going on, but maturity brings a depth to all of us that you appreciate more as you grow older yourself.
Sex is different when you get older, deeper, more fulfilling. Teen sex is exciting, thrilling, it makes your heart pound but can never match up to the satisfaction you get from sex in later life. Well, that’s my experience anyway. A lot of that of course is because of having the right partner and in that respect maybe I’m lucky. But I would say that I cannot understand old men with women a generation or more younger than themselves. Are they immature or are they seeking to cling to their youth? I know there are some relationships that do work where the partners are separated by several decades but they are in the minority.
The way I see it that apart from the odd exception there is a range of ages around your own age that makes for a good partner. That varies for each of us and I wouldn’t want to suggest anyone be limited by my preferences but being similar ages means you have a common frame of reference, common (though not identical) goals and are therefore a better fit emotionally, physically and sexually.
There’s nothing wrong with MILFs, nothing at all and at my age they are my contemporaries. I am certainly not looking for a relationship with an 18 year old, it would just feel peculiar.