I’m a complete believer in freedom of expression and freedom of speech so long as it doesn’t adversely affect another person’s rights to express themselves in the same way. Which is why I suppose it pisses me off so much when I see all the crap in the media about what constitutes the perfect body, or what is sexy, or how “horrible” it is that some celebrity dared to put on some weight and even worse dared to get older.
A friend of mine once observed that “If I wanted to sleep with skinny young men I’d sleep with skinny young men, not women who were trying to look like skinny young men.” In this twisted fucked-up world that we inhabit size matters to such an extent that some people will make themselves gravely ill to lose weight.
In the bedroom men and women are expected to perform in ways that they may not wish to and in some cases are almost impossible. Men should last all night, women should engage in sexual acts even if they don’t really get off on them …it’s not just about appearance and what we get up to in the bedroom either. The media in particular places such emphasis on what people should or shouldn’t do that this media-centric age breads media-centric consumers who start to believe this over-simplified interpretation of fundamentally flawed lifestyle “advice”.
Most of the time most of us experience a world where our partners aren’t catwalk models (thank goodness). We make mistakes, we sometimes have sex which isn’t mind blowing, men sometimes cum too early and women refuse to take it up the arse just because their bloke thinks that all his mate’s girlfriends do it. And you know what, until recently this was just the way it was. You weren’t expected to feel bad about it, or inadequate, or as if you needed therapy.
I’m lucky to be in a long-term, fulfilling relationship with someone who loves me as much as I love her. We have good times, we have great times and yes we have shitty times too. And that’s normal. We are lucky but don’t expect everything to be perfect all of the time.
You see I don’t believe there is such a thing as a perfect girl (or bloke). All women are different and all of us should appreciate that fact. Treating anyone as inferior because they don’t conform to a narrow stereotype is just wrong. You may like or dislike someone based on your own preferences, that’s different, but to align yourself to what currently passes itself off as the standard by which we are all measured is just wrong. Today it’s painfully skinny girls, a few decades ago it was a fuller figured lady, before that in the 1920s stick thin was in vogue. It’s not just about a person’s figure is it? Some era’s have valued a pale complexion, others black teeth because it proved their owner was rich enough to afford sugar and therefore cause their teeth to rot.
What you like in a partner should come from within you and not be dictated by others or adopted by you because you feel to do otherwise would make you seem odd.