If you have enough money you can buy anything. And I mean anything. Luckily most of us are not in that position. I say luckily because to be in a position where you can have anything you want only leads to nihilism and the associated destruction of those around you. I’ve seen it, it’s ugly and it’s terrifying. If you’re caught up with someone like that the best you can hope for is escape before they drag you down with them.
If the ability to have exactly what you want wasn’t tied up with being very powerful and wealthy then this corruption of our innermost desires might not happen but that’s humanity for you, flawed and fallible.
Why am I writing about this? Well I was wondering why it was that in a society that is becoming both more aware and in some ways at least more accepting of alternative lifestyles and sexualities we still don’t seem to be able to express ourselves sexually without someone lashing out at us. I think that Suze and I have a pretty conventional sexuality. It’s slightly more kinky and a lot more open than that which our respective parents enjoyed, but even so I’m not so much talking about us here.
Take people in to BDSM, or rubber, or PVC or, well anything that doesn’t conform to “normal”.
When you begin to contemplate how society portrays and treats people with particular sexual preferences you realised that our society is still treating the non-mainstream as an object of ridicule and fun. In some cases even persecuting sexualities and fetishes, driving them underground.
Of courser this is a totally human way of dealing with things outside our experience and understanding. We reject them, possibly as deviant, and isolate, discredit them and try to burry them. Sadder still this sort off treatment of perfectly valid, yet minority views and sexualities is that it causes them to become insular and often aggressive, even to people sympathetic to freedom of speech and expression.
We are still at a stage in the development of humanity’s sexual development where its is almost impossible to introduce some sexual practices into a relationship without a lot of care and careful timing. I don’t mean that you should blunder in and announce your sexual fantasies without consideration fro your partner’s feelings and what their reaction might be. However in a functional relationship it ought to be possible to introduce new ideas, even kinky, left-field concepts into the bedroom without your partner a) thinking you are weird/mad/perverse and b) assuming that you expect certain thins of them.
OK, in some circumstances a couple might find they are not compatible because the things that turn you on are so different but all relationships are about give and take and just because one partner likes dressing up in rubber, or anal sex or being dominated from time to time should not stop a relationship dead in its track. If your partner is happy to indulge your desires surely (within reason) you should be willing to do the same?
The same applies to prostitution. Suze and I are believers that it should be legalised and strictly policed. We are realists and know that there will always be a market for the extreme, be that under-aged sex, bareback or simply cheap fucks. But taking the oldest profession, admitting it will always be here and installing a structure that allows most girls to work more safely surely makes sense.
At the moment prostitution is about hand jobs, blowjobs and fucks. Surely it can be much more and without resort to the expensive and exclusive services of specialist, erm , providers.
Is society ready for this transition to an open and accepting sexuality were couples accept each other’s fetishes without labelling them perverts and the sex trade allows women and men to offer services of all sorts in safety and to satisfy all desires?
No, not yet.
But one day …