Inflatable sex toys come in many forms. There’s the classic blow-up sex doll, novelty blow-up items, the Cupid’s Couch, and then there’s the Position Master, part of the Fetish Fantasy Series from Pipedream Products.
The great advantage of inflatable furniture, be it intended to enhance your sex life or not, is that it’s easy to transport. The Position Master comes in a box 260mm x 330mm x 90mm, yet inflates to 800mm x 650mm x 320mm. The package states that it can support up to 300 lbs (136 Kg), so it should take a bit of punishment *evil grin*.
The first thing you have to do of course is inflate the couch. I did it the hard way, by blowing it up. While this is entirely feasible I wouldn’t advise it just before sex as the single inlet valve is small requires a quite an effort to use. If you have a foot pump, or electric pump you’d be advised to use that. However once inflated the Position Master isn’t huge and could easily be stowed under a bed or on top of a wardrobe for quick deployment in the heat of passion.
We keep ours in a space between a wall and a large chest of drawers in our bedroom. From which I think you’ll have guessed we love this product!
When we reviewed the Cupids Couch we were really impressed with its incredible versatility. The problem is that a Cupid’s Couch requires space to leave inflated or pre-planning if you’re to store it and only inflate if you want to use it. That can remove the element of spontaneity.
The Position Master on the other hand is so much easier to leave in a state of readiness that we’ve decided to do just that.
When we first tested the Position Master I had ten minutes to recover from my inflatory endeavours before we got intimate. We were both rather excited about the Position Master because we knew from our Cupid’s Couch experience that it would allow us to try different positions, and variation on some of our favourites. We’re still experimenting with it.
That’s got to be a plus for a sex toy hasn’t it? We were excited at the thought of trying it. I’ll not bore you too much with the foreplay … let your imagination fill in the gaps … OK, suitably aroused we began.
First we tried missionary, with Suze laying invitingly on the Position Master. This was probably the least satisfying for us as it seemed to reduce the depth of penetration by rolling Suze’s pelvis forward.
Nil desperandum!
Then it was my turn to lay on the Position Master. I grasped the top pair of handles, yes it has two pairs of handles to stop you parting company from the Position Master in the throws of passion. The surface of the couch is also a faux velvet which is soft and helps prevent slippage on the carpet of bed. It also stops you from sticking to it if you are totally naked. Oh, I nearly forgot, we were trying this on the bed, though of course you can use the Position Master on the floor … or even grass I suppose if your neighbours are understanding hehehe.
Suze tried cowgirl, then reverse cowgirl. Both were quite nice though we found that we sank into the mattress so she couldn’t lift herself as much as she would have liked. We’ll have to try this on the floor. As I said above, using something like this is all about angles and personal preference. A product like the Position Master is great because it effectively changes what does and doesn’t work when you and your partner are having sex. It opens up new possibilities and can really invigorate your sex life because you start exploring again.
We were getting better with our Position Master technique, but the best was yet to come.
We decided to try good old fashioned doggy.
What a revelation. The change in orientation caused by the Position Master caused Suze’s G-spot to be presented to my thrusting cock in such a way that she cried out with pleasure. She grabbed the handles on the side of the Position Master and “fine-tuned” her angle until she seemed to be permanently on the edge of orgasm. It was only necessary for me to adjust my thrusts minutely to bring her to climax, then down again to a state of pleasure just below that orgasmic zenith.
I brought her to orgasm three or four times before finally allowing myself to succumb to the divine pleasure I too was experiencing. I came with a glowing red orgasm, my body tingling, a shudder running up my spine.
The Position Master is a simple product and inexpensive. It is versatile and functional, practical and very effective. An adult product that encourages experimentation and allows you to experience new and enhanced sensations has to be a must for any relationship.
Oh, before I begin, if you want to see Suze playing with Jenna Jameson’s boobs see this video.
It’s not often that you get to tit fuck a porn star, but that’s what Jenna’s Perfect pair from Doc Johnson gives you the opportunity to do. The good people at Twisted Miss sent us this exact replica of Jenna’s famous breasts for me to test. And as an experienced sex toy tester I rose to the challenge. Yes, pun very much intended.
Now, obviously you’d have thought that using a toy like this, which is in essence a male masturbator, would be a solo affair. Well not in this house. While I might have slight exhibitionist tendencies, Suze is most definitely developing into a huge voyeur. Not for the first time she watched me from the very start of my test, slowly stroking myself to erection, until my climax.
Before I describe the use of the toy I ought to let you know a few things about Jenna’s Perfect Pair. As mentioned above they are formed from Doc Johnson’s UR3 material. It has a firmness, combined with pliability that allows the Doc Johnson people to make incredibly realistic toys that feel like human skin. As you can see from the video the breasts are of the ultra-pert silicone enhanced variety, being moulded from Jenna Jameson. This means there’s an inviting valley between them begging for your cock to be inserted.
Because they are modelled on the real thing the breasts are slightly asymmetrical and therefore much more acceptable as ersatz boobs. The nipples are a delicate pink and the skin the standard UR3 fleshy tone.
When you use Jenna’s boobs you have to ensure two things. First that they are lightly lubed with a water based lube and second that you have a nice hard stiffy. Without the lubrication your skin will drag and without a firm erection you may find it difficult to both enclose your cock between the boobs and penetrate the tight cavern that this creates.
With plenty of lube to hand and a towel underneath them to capture the ensuing spillages I was ready to rock; And get my rocks off.
Suitably aroused and with Jenna Jameson’s boobs lubed I knelt astride them while Suze watched. I lay my cock between her tits and felt the coolness of the UR3. I rather liked that sensation. While you can warm the toy in warm water to raise its temperature you’re advised not to put it in the oven or microwave – that could be an interesting one to explain to the fire service – but I digress. This was when I found that you need to be very firmly erect to use the toy as to fully enclose your cock you need to squeeze them together and this makes the opening between them very small.
I began to thrust in and out, my cock appearing and disappearing between them, mesmerising Suze who loves to watch me masturbate. I’m sure that on your own you could add a little porn to the experience, maybe some of Jenna herself, I mean, imagine watching a scene with Jenna Jameson being tit-fucked while you fucked her tits, that would be POV to the max. For now I had my own porn performer, Suze slowly rubbing her clit for my entertainment and her pleasure.
I found that using the Perfect Pair I had to ensure just the right level of lubrication, occasionally adding just a drop of lube to easy the passage of my now raging hard-on between the pink mounds.
Suze was rolling about on the bed now, her hand between her legs. She moaned and only now did her eyes close, the orgasm interrupting the close-up view she had of my thrusting cock.
Suze’s eyes were sparkling as I began to feel the orgasm rising in my groin, looking at her while I was pumping into Jenna Jameson’s chest was surreal and arousing at the same time. I knew she wanted to see me come and wasn’t about to disappoint her. One final thrust and I buirried myself deep in between Jenna’s mounds, pulling the skin of my cock back and making the head of my penis shine.
Muscular contractions pumped semen towards a waiting Suze, once, twice, three times. I released the breasts and lifted my cock from between the twin mounds. I grasped my still rock hard member milking every drop from it, a trail of semen dribbling across Jenna’s left nipple. A blob of cum hit Suze on the tip of her nose as my muscular pumping subsided. Suze leant forward and licked Jenna’s nipple clean…
Jenna’s Perfect Pair are possibly the ultimate in male breast masturbators, They are made from top quality materials, and can take a serious pounding. I can vouch for that. The toy is heavy so it isn’t going to move around when you use it. They are a simple toy, in that you don’t have any vibrating function, but that’s the key to them. Since when did you meet a woman with a vibrating chest? If you love masturbation and would love to cum on a porn star’s chest then who better than Jenna Jameson?
We already have the under the bed restraint set from Sportsheets, also supplied by Bedtime Heaven, and have had some great fun with those, so I thought I would give this set a try. I asked our friends at Bedtime Heaven to send the set out for me to try and I bet they had a smile on their faces when they despatched them. I think they are as naughty as us.
From the moment that I took hold of the box and flipped it over to see how versatile they were, I felt the dome side of me emerging inside me. A smile played upon my lips as I popped open the plastic packaging.
2 x Wrist cuffs
2 x Ankle Cuffs
Both sets are the same size, perhaps something that could be addressed because ankles are usually larger. However they are generous in size so that didn’t present a problem.
2 x Adjustable Tethers
1 x Leather Blindfold. Why did I never get one of these, they can be so much fun!
With the bondage restraints to hand, all you need is a couple of horny people to complete the recipe
We were already naked and in bed when I decided to indulge in a little role play. I placed the contents of the pack on to the bed and sorted them out. I decided that Alex was going to be my sub and I removed his boxer shorts, leaving him naked. I left on my black thong.
He was a willing participant and lay back on the bed whilst I cuffed his hands first, then his ankles. I then lifted his head and applied the blindfold. It took me a while to calm down and decide what I was going to do to my sub. I ordered him to all fours, then I attatched each ankle to wrist using the tethers provided. Once he was restrained I took up the slack on each side.
This resulted in him falling on to his shoulders as his hands made contact with his ankles. He was now totally submissive with his shoulders on the mattress and his ass pointing up in to the air.
At this point as I stood at the foot of the bed the rubber whip caught my eye in its usual place hanging from the headboard. I walked around the bed and carefully and quietly, as not to alert him to what I was doing, took the whip from the headboard.
The room was silent except for Alex’s expectant respiration as he lay face to one side on the bed. I took the whip and ran it down the centre of his back, the cold rubber tassles dragging against his skin. Alex twitched and moaned his approval. “Is that nice my slave?”, I asked with a giggle. He responded that it was.
I ran the rubber whip over his flesh, occasionally giving it a gentle flick or glide to heighten his senses (the whip is one of the most useful sex toys we have hehehe). He didn’t know what I may do to him next, that excited him I could tell. His expectant breathing betrayed him. Trust is important in BDSM role play even though we are only amateurs, the trust has to be there to be totally absorbed.
His ass was just asking for it and I twisted my wrist and flicked the rubber strands over his firm fleshy buttock…then the other and back again. I was getting into this and he was too. Aware of his limits and controlling my urge to flay him that little bit harder, after all I didn’t want to hurt him, too much. This was about sensation and sexual exploration not masochism.
I gave him a couple more flicks of whip on each buttock and then let loose his tethers. He rose up on to all fours and I took his wrists and clipped them to one of the tethers behind his back. Bound he was mine, still blindfold and very horny. His cock was proudly bobbing in front of his groin. I licked my lips as I ran scenarios through my head.
I guided him to the edge of the bed and stood him next to it, his cock pointing directly at me sat on the edge of the mattress. Suze could resist no longer, expectancy already had me wet. Alex’s hands were tied together behind his back and I pulled his hips closer to me and gently ran my tongue around his cock head.
Alex was breathing heavily and moaning with each flick of my investigative tongue. He tasted good as he oozed pre cum on to the tip of my tongue. I blew cold air over his erect helmet and he twitched with excitement. He started to thrust his hips towards me rhythmically, I knew what he wanted but he would have to wait.
He thrust again and this time I opened my mouth around his thrusting erection and let him enter my mouth. Alex moaned, and started to slowly fuck my open mouth. I bore my lips down on him and started to suck as his foreskin rolled up and down against my tongue. He was so hard!
Having total control over Alex was really turning me on, he was mine to do with as I pleased.
“Do you want to fuck your Mistress?”, I enquired. A tease really. I knew he wanted to grind my ass in to that bed.
“Yes!”, he responded fervently.
I reached around his back and unhooked his cuffs allowing him the use of his arms once more. He reached forward and parted my legs and pushed himself between them. Still blindfold he stared to fuck me.
There were no airs and graces, this was a basic need to fuck. I gripped his waist with my legs and raised my hips to meet with his allowing deeper penetration. Shit! I called out as he grounded momentarily on my cervix. He began to fuck me like a man possessed by sex.
I came and told him so. Then he gave one long thrust and several small ones and ejaculated inside me. I could see he had become wobbly overcome by the moment so I slid on to the bed disengaging with his cock and let him slip on to the mattress beside me. He put his arm over me and we lay together in the afterglow.
Suze can’t wait for her turn to be tethered … bondage can be so much fun, even for beginers like us.
It’s quite and unassuming vibrator, the Japanese Squirmy from Doc Johnson and again the design and functionality did intrigue me when I asked if Twisted Miss could despatch it for me to try.
The Squirmy has 9cm of insertable length with a girth at its widest point of 12cm.
It takes 3 x AAA batteries
There are 3 speed settings for the clitoral rabbit but believe me you won’t need to turn it up to full
And there are 3 G-Spot massaging speeds
In addition, the G-Spot function can be set to reverse action too
It’s Phthalate free and waterproof, I can see bathtime just getting better and better
I love this vibe!
This toy is ideal for a first timer, it’s not designed to be challenging size-wise and it certainly hits the spot. Further more it fits neatly in to most bags or purses as you may know them, not many vibes will do that.
After all the beauty of this vibe is not it’s size but just how well it does what it is designed to do. Let me explain…
…I decided to take the Squirmy to bed on my own to warm myself up for a good fucking. I’m a multiple orgasmer, I always say why stop at one when you can have two, three, four…
It was still light outside so I drew the bedroom curtains and closed the small window, so that the neighbours didn’t get a chance to join in the fun. Lol I pulled back the duvet and slipped out of my jeans and shirt. I kicked my socks off and pulled my panties down and cast them to one side with my other clothes. No need for the bra so that went too.
Completely naked I slid between the duvet and mattress. It was cold but I was anticipating it wouldn’t be for long. I turned on the television to help mask any outbursts I may have during my onanism.
Alex was downstairs washing up the dishes from lunch and I could periodically hear him opening cupboards and putting dishes away. This soon faded from my reality as I took hold of the vibrator.
I reached between my legs to carry out a moisture test. Conclusion, I was wet. The television had nothing interesting on so I switched to DVD. On screen came Lex Steele, my does he have a huge cock! I digress.
Lex is busy fucking Monica Sweetheart on top a glass table and I’m running the vibe up and down my slit, picking up the available moisture which had gathered there. I then push it up between my lips and press the massage button once. The vibe slipped nicely in to place without any lube, which is why it would be a good one for a first time toy user. The key to this toy is in its clever massaging properties and not it’s ability to fill your pussy.
At first the massaging tip made no impact on me as I sat with it placed between my legs. I lay back against the mattress and pulled my PC muscles tight and gave the button one more click. That’s when the action got to work on my G-Spot. I could feel the sensation I normally get from Alex’s cock or fingers as they run over my vaginal wall. I knew it was hitting the spot because I began to want to pee, which is a sure sign that my G-Spot is being stimulated.
It was warm, or I was, and I pushed the duvet back on to the top of my thighs. I pressed the rabbit button just once and FUCK ME! That rabbit is one of the most powerful I have had the pleasure to test on my clit.
One more press on the rabbit button and I was pulsing away, my clit was enlivened immediately. A word of caution, this vibe isn’t quiet but that is a trade I’m willing to make for the stimulation provided by this pink sensation.
Lex was ball deep in Monica as I opened my eyes briefly to get some visual stimuli to help me on my way. I was so close now. My pussy was resonating with the powerful beating of the rabbit on my clit and my G-Spot was being massaged in to submission.
I started to gently rotate the vibe from side to side, only slightly. This had the effect of rubbing over my clitoral hood and making my pussy ache. I placed my right foot over my left ankle and grasped my buttocks together as sparks climbed up my spinal column and I twitched as my climax took me over.
My whole body almost lifted off the bed as I had the most powerful orgasm. And I think I let the world know too as I moaned out loud. I felt the orgasm dissipate and I powered down the vibe, eyes still shut to enjoy the moment.
A kiss pressed upon my lips as I felt Alex leaning over me, I breathed in his aroma deeply and opened my eyes. I could make out the firmness of his cock pressing against the denim groin of his jeans.
He moved round the bed and I heard the familiar sound of his zipper being lowered as I placed the wet vibe on my bedside drawers…
I spotted this on Bedtime Heaven’s site I just had to have it for a test drive. I’ve tested its vibrating cousin and it was fantastic, you can read that review here. But The Curve is beautiful to look at with its royal curl shape and is delightfully soft to the touch, enticing me with its promise of quiet delight.
The curve dildo requires no batteries and in return offers hours of silent fun. Nobody will ever know how much you enjoyed the experience providing you aren’t a screamer.
It’s sculpted from hypoallergenic medical grade silicone in one of my favourite colours. It’s always useful to know the dimensions of adult toys heheh, so … it has an insertable length of 18cm with a girth at its head of 13cm. The closest I can describe the feel of it is to compare it to Playdoh. Albeit elastic Playdoh!. Do you remember just how soft and yielding it felt in your hands? A close second to natural skin in warmth and texture.
I expected this dildo to be rigid but it’s really quite pliable whilst remaining rigid enough to maintain it’s g-spot seeking shape. Yes ladies, this toy is designed to seek and find your most sensitive area and massage you into submission. A weapon of self-love.
Unlike some toys this one is odourless and completely submersible. So I plan to have a rerun with in the bath at some point.
My idea was to go off to our bedroom with my new Fun Factory dildo and pleasure myself, Alex is used to me doing this. It was Friday night and I made my way upstairs, reached in to my bedside drawer where my “Curve” was waiting and placed it on my bedside drawers whilst I slipped out of my clothing.
Alex was washing up after dinner and I was eager to try my new Curve. I love just holding it and looking at it, I know that sounds odd but its just such an aesthetic sex toy. I slipped between the sheets wearing…nothing. I was hot enough and didn’t require clothing.
I took a tube of lube from my bedside drawer and applied a small blob to the end of the Curve. As I pushed it between my lips and inside me I shivered at the cold sensation of the lube against my pussy lips.
It popped inside me easily. The upward turn of the handle made manoeuvring easy. I pushed the dildo deep inside me and then slowly retracted it. I felt the smooth shaped head withdraw from my pussy, catching on my opening as it did so.
I pushed the Curve back inside me and as I did so pushed back on the opposing curve. This made contact with my g-spot and I immediately felt the sensation of wanting to pee. I had found the magic area. I continued to push the curved handle downwards and used the handle to work the dildo in and out of me. The silicone is easy to grip unlike the hard plastic used in some.
Despite being quite aroused and involved by now I became aware of a hand reaching between my legs, taking hold of the dildo. It was Alex. I let him take control. He pulled back the duvet and began to work the dildo slowly in and out of me. I took his hand and guided him to the right place, pushing down on his hand.
I was about to come and fell back down on to the bed as I felt the grip of my first orgasm. This inspired Alex and he began to work that dildo in and out of me eagerly. My knees were now up in the air and my feet placed firmly against the mattress, buttock pulled tight.
Alex was now breathing deep and audibly. He was still fully dressed laying with me on top of the duvet. I reached my hand down and pressed it against the crotch of his jeans. He was hard inside that denim and I was so horny.
FUCK! My feet began to tingle and my pelvic floor gripped as he brought me off once more. As I recovered I can remember myself reaching for Alex’s flies. I opened them and found his hard cock inside waiting for me.
The front of his boxers was wet, he had dribbled come whilst frigging me. I eased his cock out of the fly in his underwear and began to stroke him. He was so hard I could almost feel the blood coursing through his cock.
Alex helped me at this point, not without self-interest I may add. Hehehe
He was soon out of his trousers and underwear, cock bouncing invitingly in front of him. I gave it a quick suck and then guided him downward. He pushed between my swollen lips and gave me the fucking of a lifetime. I think I came another two or was it three times before I got on to my knees and let him fuck me doggy.
All the time he was fucking me the Curve dildo was next to my head and I could smell myself on it. Do you know just how horny your own smell can make you. If you don’t I suggest you give it a try just like this wonderful dildo.
The Vibra Exciter from Vibra Fun was supplied to us by our good friends at Twisted Miss. The vibrating cock ring is designed to be activated by the ringing of a mobile phone when it receives a text message or voice call. So it’s a toy that promises a great deal for naughty fun in public places, and yet there are so many potential pitfalls …
When a toy arrives for review it’s often the case that what comes out of the packet is not entirely what we expected. That is certainly true of the Vibra Exciter.
My experience of cock rings and some other male sex toys in the past has been that they rank OK to fair. With a vibrator/bullet attached they can be fun, but while many do the job and make for an interesting experience cock rings are not at the top of my Christmas list.
One of the reasons for that is that most of them are designed to be worn at the base of the penis, often primarily acting as an aid to maintaining an erection. If they vibrate they stimulate the least sensitive part of the penis and the scrotum. That is all well and good, but the most sensitive part of the penis, the glans at the tip of the penis gets left out.
When I knew that Vibra Exciter was on it’s way I envisaged it like all other cock rings, humming away on my scrotum. Thank goodness I was soooo wrong. Nestling with its soft jelly brushes just behind my glans and with twin bullets working those sensitive nerve endings I got a real treat.
We first tested the Vibra Exciter in the bedroom. Why? I hear you ask when this is a toy designed for use in less than private places would we do a thing like that? Simple, volume. Many bullets in sex toys are less than quiet. If you’re in the privacy of your own home that’s great, but outside that can lead to all sorts or trouble. Although the Vibra Exciter’s control unit does have a big “Cancel” button, just in case and would pass as a pager if spotted on your waistband.
There was another reason too, the Exciter is made of a jelly-like plastic that I thought might pull on my sensitive glans and make them sore.
Neither of my fear we justified. The soft plastic hugs your cock, stopping the cock ring falling off and holding the brushes on the twin bullets firmly in place. And as for the bullets, they are as powerful as one I have twice their size and although not silent they are very quiet.
Quiet enough so that tucked inside your trousers they are almost inaudible. Off to the supermarket then.
Having proved that the Vibra Exciter worked when my mobile phone rang we set off to the supermarket. The instructions for the toy mention that not only can it be triggered by phones, but by other electrical equipment so I was waiting for some surprises. Hehehe.
About half way to the supermarket the cock ring went off. I’d set it on the lowest setting just in case it could be heard by other shoppers, but even on that setting it put an immediate smile on my face. Suze noticed asked “It’s working then?”. “Ooooh yes!” I replied. Someone in a passing car must have taken a call.
BTW I’ll go on to describe the settings later.
At the supermarket I stood next to the ATM, refrigerators, cash tills and even a floor polisher, but the Exciter didn’t activate. Then just as I was about to give up hope of a surprise stimulation, it went off. I turned round and saw a woman, brunette, about 45, taking a call. I tried not to smile, I think I managed it.
Suze wasn’t so controlled and again picked up on my clandestine cock ring action and started giggling. We hastened to finish the shopping and then off to the checkouts.
We then went on to the DIY store to pick up a new shower head. No stimulation there either. Amazing isn’t it, people are normally on their mobile phones all the time … apart from when you want them to be. LOL
Now all that was great fun despite the lack of non-mobile activations. Perhaps you should just make sure you spend a lot of time in mobile phone shops. Credit where it’s due the toy is totally reliable when your phone receives a call, so you and your lover can enjoy yourself even miles apart.
The Vibra Exciter has ten settings, all of which are very enjoyable due to the power of the bullets. This is made possible by the use of two AAA batteries in the control unit/receiver that clips to your waistband of belt when in outdoor use. Some bullets try to be self-contained, utilising button cells and sacrifice the raw power available to those using larger batteries. The slight inconvenience of a connecting wire is a small price to pay.
There are three steady settings of increasing power that you can step though with one of the two controls on the toy, six pulsing/sawtooth modes and then my favourite, random, which makes its merry way through an assortment of the other modes.
All those modes, particularly random, and the power of the thing means that it’s great to use solo. You obviously can’t masturbate with it on, but if you slip it over your cock you’ll be hard in minutes and ready for a little hand assisted action.
The Vibra Exciter exceeded pretty much all of my expectations. I simply didn’t expect it to be as comfortable to wear, as effective in use or as quiet in operation. It’s a revelation.
This vibe is unlike any other in terms of action. When I first saw it I wanted it, just like a girl would desire an exquisite piece of jewellery, I wanted to have this to test drive.
And good for me, Bedtime Heaven despatched it to me with expedience complete with batteries because they are so thoughtful. Or do they know me well by now?
It’s totally irrelevant but I love the colour. It comes in a lovely shade of lilac and has a very soft almost fleshy feel to it. The vibe is solid and well made with easy to operate controls.
Lets get the techie bit out of the way first:
The vibe has and shaft with an insertable length of 15cm and a very pleasureable girth of 13.5cm…OMG! Heaven.
It is constructed from Phthalate Free, smooth, soft and unscented TPR
Takes 4 x AA Batteries
3 x speed Wave Motion
And best of all Reverse Direction Wave Motion too
Also 3 x speed rabbit vibration, clit heaven
It’s also waterproof which is a great idea if you tend to get as wet as I do Lol
This wave rabbit vibrator has a wonderful feel, warm, soft and almost like real flesh but it doesn’t look like real flesh, unless you are a martian of course. Lol
When I test vibes I like Alex to be part of the experience. So I asked him to come to bed with me and watch some porn whilst we both relaxed. It was the Easter break and we had all the time in the world…
It was Sunday afternoon to be precise and we had disappeared up the bedroom at 2pm. As he closed the curtains it occurred to me for just a moment “what would the neighbours think?” only for a moment then I though “so what?”.
I turned on the DVD player and started up the disk that was already in the drive. It was House Of Shame and I selected the school room scene. Something about girls in short skirts and headmistresses gets me in the mood. Come on, I’m sure you feel the same…
Alicia Rodes makes a good disciplinarian, I would love her to teach me a lesson!
I cast off my t-shirt and unzipped my black jeans with my back against the bed. Alex moved across from his side and pulled my jeans slowly over my hips. I stepped out of them as they fell to the floor and kicked them over against the bedroom wall.
As I was about to sit on the edge of the bed he hooked his fingers inside my panties and pulled them down, planting a big kiss on my right butt cheek. I pulled them off over my feet and discarded them with my jeans by the wall.
I sat on the edge of the bed and Alex moved on in behind me placing a led either side of me. His body was now pressed against my back and I could feel his warm breath against my neck.
His hand unhooked the two catches on my bra and he rolled it over my shoulders and down my arms, as he did so my breasts spilled out. Nipples hardening with the exposure to the cool air. He reached his arms around me under my armpits and cupped both my breasts rolling them under his palms.
Then he pinched both nipples and I yelped with the roughness of his attentions. I was already highly aroused and pleasure and pain can be so close that they merge.
Now naked I pushed back and Alex moved across the bed to his side. I lay on the pillow contemplating the phallic vibrator on my bedside drawers. Batteries were loaded and it was ready for me and I was certainly ready for it.
But this time I wanted Alex to take a more active role in my masturbatory pleasure. I wanted him to use the wave vibrator on me…
I passed him the Passion Wave vibe and asked “Will you fuck me with this?”.
“I would love to make you come”, came his reply as he accepted the vibe from me.
Alicia was now licking a girls cunt as I lay back on the desk, dirty girl! Alex then held the vibe against my pussy lips and began to push it inside me. “Can you apply some lube”, I asked as I felt that huge vibe trying to penetrate me, there was now way that was going in without some help.
He reached in to his drawer and applied some lube to the tip. It felt cold as he pushed it against my hot pussy but it was soon in and delving deep inside me. This vibe really does fill you up if you know what I mean.
Alicia was now fucking the faux schoolgirl with a strap on and Alex turned on the vibrator. I could feel the waves pulse through my pussy as he turned the vibe up to max. The sensation was like no other vibrator I have tested, I could feel the ripples of pleasure build and crash upon my shore.
Then he turned on the rabbit assailing my clit too!
I used my PC muscles to grip the rabbit as it waved up inside my pussy, this intensified the experience and before long I was submitting to an intense orgasm. Alex could sense it coming and started to gently pinch my right nipple with his free hand. Fuck! I came with such intensity that his grip on the vibe was impaired by the ejaculate. “Bloody hell, you are wet!”, he exclaimed.
Those waves are increased in intensity and efficacy if you use your PC muscles to grip the vibe as it ripples through you. I was rendered speechless for moments after I came. Lucky Alex kept up the good work varying speed and function because I lost all control.
Alex was more than a little turned on at this point…he removed the vibe from my pussy and replaced it with his cock. As I wrapped my legs around his back he fucked me watching my boobs bounce up and down with each thrust.
Within minutes of him entering me we were both coming and he ended up with some tell tale nail marks on his back.
This toy is going in to my under the bed sex toy supplies.
There comes a time in every sex toy tester’s career when he is able to say with authority “In comparison with other prostate massagers and anal toys I have tried …”. The fact is I have tried quite a number of anal toys from small vibes, through metal and jelly butt plugs to highly specialised prostate massagers such as the Nexus range. They all have their good points and not-so good aspects like all male masturbators and masturbation aids.
So when I came to try the Rude Boy by Rocks-Off, supplied to me by Twisted Miss, I wasn’t expecting to be able to say much that I hadn’t already said before. The fact it it’s been around for a while and I can’t say that I was impressed by it’s appearance. The insertable part of the toy is smooth, unlike say the Nexus range whose form is carefully sculpted to match the male anatomy. Nor is the bullet a cutting edge design - on or off that’s the only choice you have.
But the Rude Boy delivers, it really delivers. You see the fact that the toy is made of soft medical grade silicone, and has a smooth shaft makes it easy to insert. With a more shaped toy like the Nexus Gyro you get a more intense sensation from the opening of your rectum right up to your P-Spot. That’s great if you’re a) not an anal virgin and b) have the time to let the Gyro rest in your ass for a while and relax. The Rude Boy however is a much easier toy to use and provides stimulation of a less intense nature.
Unless you’ve experienced both I would say you would have difficulty understanding the difference between a Gyro and a Rude Boy. I suppose a metaphor is in order. The Gyro is a double espresso with a Pro-Plus on the side, the Rude Boy is a nice strong Nescafé with a little sugar to take the edge of the bitterness.
Suze assisted as normal, always eager to grab a handful of cock even if she’s only able to play with it. I applied lots of water based lube to the rude boy and my backside, working it slowly inside with the tip of the toy.
The toy is extremely easy to insert, no complex shape to navigate, no ridges or “neck” to ease past your anal sphincter. Apart from making insertion of the Rude Boy less challenging it also makes it easier to position the toy to give you the level of stimulation you desire. With a highly shaped toy you find the insertable portion locks into one position. Because one size doesn’t fit all, we all have subtly different internal anatomythis can lead to a stimulation that’s either too intense or just doesn’t hit the spot. The Rude Boy’s smooth shaft does provide a gentler sensation, and means you feel more in control than with some other toys.
There is some satisfaction however in getting the perineal stimulating bobbles next to the vibrating bullet to press firmly against your perineaum and feel the tip of the Rude Boy resting firmly on the anterior wall of your colon and squeezing your prostate. For me the Rude Boy is the perfect size when fully inserted.
By the time I had got to this stage I was almost had, cock full of blood, with Suze gently sucking the tip. Because prostate stimulation tends to generate a lot of pre-cum she was probing my urethra teasing out every drop of clear fluid.
When I was finally hard I knelt up and pushed her away. Despite the claims that the toys is “hands-free” I found that because of the amount of lube I had used it would slip out if I didn’t position myself squatting, with the Rude Boy resting on the towel I’ had placed on the bed. With that small practicality resolved I proceeded to indulge my exhibitionist side and wank for the entertainment of Suze. She lay back and gently rubbed her clit with a moist finger and watched me pump my cock in my fist.
The clear fluid oozing from the end of my penis was lubrication enough to ensure my foreskin slid up and down turning my swollen glans into a glistening bisected hemisphere.
I was breathless because of the stimulation created by the Rude Boy and wanted to cum almost as quickly as I could. I say almost because as I approached orgasm I found myself wanting to hold back and increase the final intensity as much as I could. I teetered on the edge for a few strokes but eventually the sight of Suze, smiling with her hand between her thighs and the now incredibly intense involuntary spamsing of my anus gave me no option but to allow myself to erupt, squirting semen up several inches into the air and landing on my hand and thighs.
I can definitely recommend the Rube Boy as a great toy for any man wanting to experiment with prostate stimulation, even absolute beginners. You may not be able to use the toy to its full potential the first time you try. But with patience and plenty of lube you’ll be able use this toy over and over again. I think this sort of toy is often categorised as a gay sex toy, but this is about stimulation not orientation and gay, bi or straight any man can enjoy the Rude Boy.
Well Alex has tried it and now it’s my turn. Bedtime Heaven sent over the Clone-A-Pussy Kit for me to take a perfect replica of my fanny. I will be able to get close up and personal with my own pussy for the first time in my life.
The kit comes complete with every thing you need to make a replica of your pussy, it contains:
A Measuring Jug
Mixing Bowl or jug
Large Spoon or Spatula
A Paper Cup
Oh…and one freshly prepared pussy.
I made sure that my pussy was mowed and ready for the moulding process. And then we were ready to go.
We decided to do this in the kitchen as the floor is totally washable should we spill anything. Practical as ever, I know! I was stood in the kitchen wearing just a t-shirt, with the cat sat in the window eyeing up the birds and Alex mixing up his moulding gel.
He measured out 2/3 cup of lukewarm water and poured the powder in to the jug, stirring vigorously. The mixture was very thick and lumpy so he added a little more to make it in to a firm mixture he could pour it in to the mould.
Moments later I was stood with my legs wide and leaning against the kitchen sink. The mixture felt cold on application and I let out a giddy little scream and a giggle. After the initial shock of the cold against my hot pussy. Oooh, that sounds so cliché doesn’t it? I realised that this mould had to be taken off and asked Alex if I should have greased up first.
He calmed me by saying that the instructions didn’t advise you lube up first. But I know Alex he does and then looks afterwards. I then stood for about 6 minutes in the kitchen hoping that nobody decided to give us an impromptu visit. How would we explain that one?
After about 5 minutes Alex gently eased off the mould and I stood there hoping that it wouldn’t hurt. I had no need to worry the gel eased away from my flesh without so much as a pull. I couldn’t wait to see it and asked him to show me.
There in my hands was my own little pussy, despite the air bubbles it was all me. A little patience was now required for the mould to fully harden, it recommends several hours on the instructions.
Once the mould is firm and dry you can mix the two part mixture and pour it inside to create your pussy clone. This takes just over a day depending on the room temperature to harden.
A good tip if you decide to have a go yourself is to make sure that you open your lips before the casting material is applied. I didn’t, therefore my casting doesn’t show the intricacy of the female form as well as it might.
Be warned that the mould also shrinks slightly so the end result is not life sized. But it’s nice to get up close and personal with your own pussy when you’re not a contortionist.
I may make mine (pictured above) into a naughty fridge magnet and see if anyone realises what it is. Lol
Some things are meant to be shared but others are decadent little treats you don’t. The Glass Worxx Diamond Dazzler Dildo is one of those items that I couldn’t resist keeping all to myself.
As regular readers of our reviews will know we usually review toys together, even if the toy in question can only be enjoyed by one of us directly. We both get a huge amount of pleasure watching and occasionally helping with the other’s reviews. There are times though that the selfish, naughtiness of solo masturbation adds a little something to the moment.
So what’s the toy like? Well, it’s beautiful actually, made from colourless and cranberry glass that catches the sunlight when you hold it and move it in your hands. Though I wouldn’t advise you stand in your window admiring a glass dildo too much because the neighbour’s reactions might be a bit mixed. I guarantee some would want to borrow it Lol.
The diameter of the main shaft is 2.5cm, though if you take the cranberry glass bumps into account it’s 3cm across. The insertable length is just under 15cm. Because the toy is glass you can use it hot, warm, cold or very chilled depending on your tastes. And use to its perfectly smooth design cleaning is incredibly easy.
I decided to try this dildo out in the shower, because I haven’t had a little play in the shower for too long, and we have halogen spotlights in there. I got the practical half of the shower over in double-quick time. Shower gel and shampoo flying everywhere. I normally spend a little time cleaning my soapy breasts and tweaking my nipples, but not on this occasion. I was too intent on playing with the Diamond Dazzler Dildo. The shower seemed to take ages washing the suds from my boobs, and the rest of my body. I didn’t want soap anywhere it might cause a problem or even worse slip and drop the Diamond Dazzler.
I hadn’t thought that bit through I suppose. When I picked up the dildo and held it up to the light it was worth it. The spotlights made the dildo sparkle and twinkle. I know, I know sparkling isn’t going to make you cum, but it all adds to the experience. As does the warm, wet, clean feeling or water cascading across your skin as the humidity in the bathroom rises.
I was in no rush as Alex was going to be late home from work, but had to slide the dildo across my clitoris. The nodules on the surface were a pleasant surprise. They aren’t shaped to give you a sensation intense enough to bring you off but they playfully tease your little button. Foreplay from a sex toy, that’s a first for me. Lol
I toyed with the Glass Worxx dildo for a while, taking the time to appreciate it’s smooth contours. I relented after a couple of minutes and had to get the dildo inside me. Foreplay is good but I wanted to enjoy my solo fun. I was more than adequately self-lubricated, my pussy anxious to accept the glass shaft. I had a lump in my throat as I slid the Diamond Dazzler inside. It wasn’t the size of the dildo, it was the whole experience.
One of the drawbacks of the dildo became apparent, when inserted with only the spherical end outside my pussy you don’t have much control of the movement of the toy. It has to be out a few centimetres to allow you to twist it, and press it back and forth so the tip presses against your vaginal walls.
Using the dildo standing up was fun given that gravity kept easing it out of my swollen pussy. But I didn’t get the earth-shattering climax I’d been looking for. A little disappointed I turned off the shower and dried myself. I don’t give up that easily so decided to take the dilo to bed.
With my ankles against my buttocks and my Diamond Dazzler held above me I took a moment to enjoy its colours in the dimmer light of the bedside lamp. Less intensely beautiful than in sunlight, but pretty all the same.
I plunged the dildo into my pussy, determined to devour this gorgeous object. I twisted and turned, moaning gentle, I swivelled my hips and clenched my vaginal walls. Unfortunately I was only able to make the gentlest of contacts with my g-spot. Despite the subtle sensation of the nodules on the dildo’s shaft being very nice, this doesn’t take me all the way. A slight curve would have been sufficient to hit the spot, but never mind.
I dipped the middle finger of my right hand into my wet slit and began to stroke my clitoris. The fingers of my left hand gently worked the dildo in and out of my pussy, pushing the glass shaft back and so pointing the tip towards my vaginal wall. My eyes closed, allowing me to drink in the squirmingly delightful sensations I was creating between my legs. It took a few minutes, but with the hot dildo jammed inside me and my finger rubbing my clit I eventually came.
Then I did something that I don’t usually do. I dozed off, probably with a big grin on my face.
When Alex got back he found me in bed. He kissed me on the forehead, waking me from my doze and said “Sorry I’m late. What have you been up to?”
“Nothing much.” I lied. His face was a picture when I swung my legs out of bed, still naked and stood up to give him a hug. The Diamond Dazzler Dildo slid out of me and landed with a thud on the floor. His jaw doesn’t often drop but it did then. And I thank my lucky stars that we have carpet on the floor in the bedroom.
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Alex & Suze sex toy reviews are written exclusively by Alex & Suze, sex toy testers since 2005. If you really want the low-down on an adult toy you’ll find it here, and if we haven’t reviewed it yet, email us to suggest that we do.
Alex & Suze sex toy reviews are written exclusively by Alex & Suze after exhaustive testing. If you really want the low-down on an adult toy you’ll find it here, and if we haven’t reviewed it yet, email us to suggest that we do.
Inflatable sex toys come in many forms. There’s the classic blow-up sex doll, novelty blow-up items, the Cupid’s Couch, and then there’s the Position Master, part of the Fetish Fantasy Series from Pipedream Products.
The room was silent except for Alex’s expectant respiration as he lay face to one side on the bed. I took the whip and ran it down the centre of his back, the cold rubber tassles dragging against his skin. Alex twitched and moaned his approval. “Is that nice my slave?”, I asked with a giggle. He responded that it was.
I love this vibe!
It was warm, or I was, and I pushed the duvet back on to the top of my thighs. I pressed the rabbit button just once and FUCK ME! That rabbit is one of the most powerful I have had the pleasure to test on my clit.
We then went on to the DIY store to pick up a new shower head. No stimulation there either. Amazing isn’t it, people are normally on their mobile phones all the time … apart from when you want them to be. LOL
There comes a time in every sex toy tester’s career when he is able to say with authority “In comparison with other prostate massagers and anal toys I have tried …”. The fact is I have tried quite a number of anal toys from small vibes, through metal and jelly butt plugs to highly specialised prostate massagers such as the Nexus range. They all have their good points and not-so good aspects like all 
When I was finally hard I knelt up and pushed her away. Despite the claims that the toys is “hands-free” I found that because of the amount of lube I had used it would slip out if I didn’t position myself squatting, with the Rude Boy resting on the towel I’ had placed on the bed. With that small practicality resolved I proceeded to indulge my exhibitionist side and wank for the entertainment of Suze. She lay back and gently rubbed her clit with a moist finger and watched me pump my cock in my fist.
Well Alex has tried it and now it’s my turn. 
I realised that this mould had to be taken off and asked Alex if I should have greased up first.
Some things are meant to be shared but others are decadent little treats you don’t. 
