{"id":1493,"date":"2008-07-28T11:50:03","date_gmt":"2008-07-28T11:50:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alexsuze.com\/?p=1493"},"modified":"2008-07-28T11:20:22","modified_gmt":"2008-07-28T11:20:22","slug":"nasty-naughty-nurse-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=1493","title":{"rendered":"Nasty, Naughty Nurse!"},"content":{"rendered":"<table border=\"0\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft\" style=\"float: left; margin: 5px; border: 0px;\" src=\"\/images\/nursebluepvc.jpg\" alt=\"Naught Nurse In PVC\" width=\"300\" height=\"541\" \/>So, there I was minding my own business, up a ladder stripping the paint from the garage door when I turned and rested my arm against what I thought was the aluminium ladder frame. Except it wasn&#8217;t. It was the hot-air paint stripping gun I&#8217;d just put down, 500 milliseconds and a whiff of burning flesh later and I have the lovely crescent shaped burn you can see below.Fucking nasty, fucking ouch!So I figured I needed a naughty nurse to kiss it better. Suze is busy and in her usual sympathetic way (whenever I have an accident) she exclaimed &#8220;How the bloody hell did you do that!&#8221;. Nice to know she cares!<\/p>\n<p>In the absence of Suze putting on a ridiculously skimpy PVC number and giving me a bed bath I thought the image to the left would make me and the rest of you feel better.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td> <img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft\" style=\"float: left; margin: 5px; border: 0px;\" src=\"\/images\/fuckingouch.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"312\" \/> <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, there I was minding my own business, up a ladder stripping the paint from the garage door when I turned and rested my arm against what I thought was &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=1493\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}