{"id":15311,"date":"2011-08-23T23:56:21","date_gmt":"2011-08-23T23:56:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=15311"},"modified":"2011-08-23T21:53:19","modified_gmt":"2011-08-23T21:53:19","slug":"fuck-toy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=15311","title":{"rendered":"Fuck Toy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" style=\"margin: 5px; float: left;\" title=\"Stockings\" src=\"\/images\/stockings-y.jpg\" alt=\"Stockings\" width=\"233\" height=\"300\" \/>Visiting my parents used to be quite a comfortingly mundane thing.\u00a0 Alex and I would sit there sip our tea and chat in a convivially relaxed way.\u00a0 We could talk about most things except exactly what I did for a day job.\u00a0 Lol<\/p>\n<p>Sitting in the conservatory was a relaxing way to spend a visit to the parents.\u00a0 That was until they acquired their nutter dog.\u00a0 He now seems to dominate most of our conversations and not in a good way.<\/p>\n<p>I think I\u2019ve mentioned before that their dog is a bit of, well, a nutter.\u00a0 He\u2019s perfectly likeable dog but is a really a bit of a social dropout.<\/p>\n<p>For he insists on shagging his cuddly toys and doesn\u2019t keep it secret.\u00a0 He gets right down to it right in front of us all.\u00a0 It\u2019s so embarrassing, my parents continue to converse despite the fact that the horny dog is shagging his favourite bear.<\/p>\n<p>I try not to make anything of it but it\u2019s difficult at times and I find myself giggling.\u00a0 This is closely followed by a vain recognition that they posses a sexually over active dog\u00a0 I even remarked the other day that he needs bromide in his diet, which was well received but pushed under the carpet with a giggle.<\/p>\n<p>However being a slight embarrassment means that we don\u2019t have to linger too long and visits don\u2019t become too cumbersome.\u00a0 But I do wish they would adopt a cat next time.\u00a0 lol<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Visiting my parents used to be quite a comfortingly mundane thing.\u00a0 Alex and I would sit there sip our tea and chat in a convivially relaxed way.\u00a0 We could talk &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=15311\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1120,3],"tags":[3463],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15311"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15311"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15319,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15311\/revisions\/15319"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}