{"id":2837,"date":"2009-05-07T18:45:07","date_gmt":"2009-05-07T17:45:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=2837"},"modified":"2009-05-07T18:41:46","modified_gmt":"2009-05-07T17:41:46","slug":"he-put-his-cock-where","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=2837","title":{"rendered":"He Put His Cock Where?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft\" style=\"float: left; border: 0; margin: 5px;\" src=\"\/images\/borat.jpg\" alt=\"Borat\" width=\"301\" height=\"454\" \/>I was once lent a book called <a title=\"The Mezzanine, Nicholson Baker\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Mezzanine-Nicholson-Baker\/dp\/1862070989\" target=\"_blank\">The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker<\/a>. It&#8217;s the story of one man&#8217;s lunch hour. Doesn&#8217;t sound much I know but it&#8217;s an incredibly detailed description of the hour in question with various musings on life the universe and paper straws. It was quite an interesting read. Do you remember paper straws BTW? I do, just.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The reason I mention it is that the author recounts an episode in his childhood when he would push his penis through the centre of a sanitary towel. Don&#8217;t ask, I can&#8217;t remember the rationale behind that one, or even if Baker ever fully explained why he did it. I remembered it when I came across these two stories. They&#8217;re not very contemporary but then again they aren&#8217;t the sort of thing that you read about every day. Despite the experimental antics of young boys.<\/p>\n<p>It seems that there is a general urge on the part of many man to push their cocks into any orifice. It doesn&#8217;t even have to be a comfortable one, <a title=\"Pasta Jar Penis Accident\" href=\"http:\/\/www.theregister.co.uk\/2008\/11\/19\/pasta_sauce\/\" target=\"_blank\">I mean a pasta jar<\/a>?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>And call me old fashioned but if you are going to experiment like this why can&#8217;t you do it in the privacy of your own home? Maybe I&#8217;m not that much of an exhibitionist so I can&#8217;t understand the reasons why someone would <a title=\"Penis Pump Accident\" href=\"http:\/\/www.theregister.co.uk\/2006\/09\/12\/slovak_pile_up\/ \" target=\"_blank\">use a penis pump while driving<\/a>. Maybe someone can explain that to me at least.<\/p>\n<p>Anyone else heard of any similar bizarre penis related news items?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was once lent a book called The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker. It&#8217;s the story of one man&#8217;s lunch hour. Doesn&#8217;t sound much I know but it&#8217;s an incredibly detailed &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=2837\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[1287,1286],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2837"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2837"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2837"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2837"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}