![\"Dog](\"http:\/\/alexsuze.com\/blog\/images\/dogcocking.jpg\" "\\"Dog")
As I am a firm believer in giving credit where credit is due, I will start this post by thanking Miss Understood for inspiring this post.\u00a0 She covered the subject in a very humorous and interesting way.<\/p>\nAs I am a firm believer in giving credit where credit is due, I will start this post by thanking Miss Understood for inspiring this post.\u00a0 She covered the subject in a very humorous and interesting way.<\/p>\n
My earliest recollection of peeing with an audience was when I was a toddler.\u00a0 I was out shopping in the town centre with my mum and I got caught short.\u00a0 Don’t children always do this, you ask over and over if they need the toilet whilst there is one close by and the answer is “No, I don’t want one”.<\/p>\n
Minutes later when you are in the middle of nowhere they start asking to go.\u00a0 My mother’s solution to this was to pull down my pants and suspend me over a grate in the road.\u00a0 I know it sounds like a very strange practice but it was not unusual.\u00a0 You would often find little boys pointing at the grate too but that’s another story and takes place after the pubs close.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
Of course as a child you get caught out a lot.\u00a0 I used to take a pee behind a bush if I was out playing with my friends, bugger going all the way home when you can do it in the wild.\u00a0 Citing!\u00a0 (Sorry turned all Russell Brand there for a moment).\u00a0 Despite what they said, you cold not wipe your pussy on leaves, I tried and it was no good and left me with a green gusset.\u00a0 No, it wasn’t an infection, it was the chlorophyll.\u00a0 LOL<\/p>\n
The only problem with pissing whilst suspended only inches from the floor is spray.\u00a0 You have to squat with your feet the right distance apart for the speed of the flow.\u00a0 I’m sure there must be some wonderful mathematical algorithm for working this out, like<\/p>\n
Piss Flow X Height From Ground = Feet Distance Apart<\/p>\n
I almost always ended up with wet socks and shoes\/sandals even worse all your foot got wet too.\u00a0 Then of course there is the run off.\u00a0 A clever little pisser makes sure that they pee on a hill so that the stream of urine runs straight down between their legs and away in to the distance.\u00a0 If you adopt this technique make sure that it doesn’t run in to the path of oncoming walkers or your game is given away.\u00a0 Follow the yellow brick piss road.\u00a0 Hahaha<\/p>\n
Never wet myself except for once, a boy I knew tickled me and I told him to stop or I would piss my pants.\u00a0 He didn’t did he.\u00a0 The inevitable happened and I wet myself.\u00a0 It didn’t embarrass me because I told him to stop.\u00a0 He looked a little stupefied though.\u00a0 Fortunately I was close to home so I could go and change.<\/p>\n
Here I have a confession to make, I have peed in the public swimming pool quite a few times as a child.\u00a0 Don’t shout at me, it was too cold outside of the heated pool to go to the toilet.\u00a0 My tactic to avoid discovery was to pee and twirl around at the same time, thus dispersing the tell tale yellow trail.\u00a0 I’m not sure but don’t they incorporate a urine detecting dye in the water these days?\u00a0 I was quite professional at it, nobody ever saw me having a crafty wee.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Family days out were always a nightmare as far as going to the toilet was concerned.\u00a0 My father once in the driving seat of the car would stop for nothing or nobody.\u00a0 If you wanted a wee he would make you wait until you were bursting.\u00a0 His famous line would be, “can you just hold on until we get to the next town and we will find some toilets?”\u00a0 Twenty minutes later, with no town in sight I would finally have to beg him to stop before I pissed myself.\u00a0 Then finally he would relent and stop in a layby.<\/p>\n
My choice of pee spots would depend on the orientation to the road of the car.\u00a0 If we were parked parallel with the passing traffic I could pee squatting at the side of the car with unlimited choice of position.\u00a0 I could pee near to my mother’s door, near to the back door and if I was feeling very cheeky next to the boot of the car so the approaching traffic could just see a bit of my pink ass.<\/p>\n
This may sound strange to some but the sight of someone peeing themselves and watching that dark patch grow can be a bit of a turn on.\u00a0 I like to get Alex to wear a pair of dark coloured boxer’s stood in the bath and watch him take a wee.\u00a0 To watch the flow of urine slowly soak the front of his boxers until they cling to his cock, watching the stream issue from the leg of his boxers and cascade down his leg like a golden waterfall.\u00a0 He likes to see me wet my panties too.\u00a0 We both finish off with a shower and the inevitable shower fuck with me pressing my hands against the wet tiled wall as he piles in to me from behind.\u00a0 I’ m getting wet just thinking about it.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
As a twenty something I had a boyfriend with his own council flat.\u00a0 We came home from the pub one night, a little worse for wear after drinking I don’t know how many bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale which was obligatory if you were a rock chick.\u00a0 And no fancy glasses, straight out of the bottle.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I don’t know how many bottles we had managed to consume but by the time we got to his front door we were both dieing for a piss.\u00a0 He took the toilet and I in my drunken wisdom decided to hop up on to the bathroom sink at the side of him.\u00a0 I pulled off my panties and began to climb up there using the side of the bath for a step.<\/p>\n
I started to release with an “Oooh!” whilst he pointed in a rather swaying fashion at the porcelain, steadying himself with one hand on the wall.\u00a0 I seemed to be peeing for Britain it just kept on coming.\u00a0 Then the next thing I know, the sink makes a groaning sound and starts to come away from the wall with me still sat on it.\u00a0 Now, the sink is pointing towards the floor and I’m about to slide off.\u00a0 I halted the flow and let myself drop to the floor.<\/p>\n
When I recovered my composure and turned around, the sink was hanging off the wall.\u00a0 Precariously held by two brackets which had all but come free from the plaster.\u00a0 I couldn’t stop laughing and Joe my boyfriend couldn’t resist and began to join in.<\/p>\n
It was most embarrassing having to call the local council and ask them to send over a repair guy to fix it.\u00a0 I think I told them that I slipped, grabbed for the sink to stop me from falling and it came away from the wall.\u00a0 I wonder how many times they heard that story.\u00a0 LOL<\/p>\n
I strongly advise anyone finding they need to go urgently and the toilet is in use.\u00a0 Go in the bath.\u00a0 It’s safer.\u00a0 Except for this one time\u2026<\/p>\n
Tags: Urophilia<\/a>, Urolagnia<\/a>, Urophagia<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As I am a firm believer in giving credit where credit is due, I will start this post by thanking Miss Understood for inspiring this post.\u00a0 She covered the subject … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}