{"id":3617,"date":"2009-10-12T17:45:31","date_gmt":"2009-10-12T16:45:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=3617"},"modified":"2009-10-12T16:50:54","modified_gmt":"2009-10-12T15:50:54","slug":"phone-sex-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/?p=3617","title":{"rendered":"Phone Sex Crossed Line"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Note: In the UK 1471 returns the number of the last caller to your landline<\/p>\n

Riiiing \u2026 Riiiiing<\/p>\n

“Hello?”<\/p>\n

A hiss, a scraping sound.<\/p>\n

“Hello, who is this?” Impatient.<\/p>\n

A zip being undone. Clunk.<\/p>\n

“Is this a crank call?” Petulant.<\/p>\n

A distant, male, voice “You want it don’t you? Take them off.”<\/p>\n

“What the f ..”<\/p>\n

Distant muffled “Oh yeah slowly.”<\/p>\n

“Mmmh?”<\/p>\n

A gasp, female this time. “Ooh stop teasing, put it in.”<\/p>\n

“Aaah!” then a deep grunt, male, muffled.<\/p>\n

“Look this is fucking sick, I’m hanging up.” But I don’t.<\/p>\n

“Mmm, slower I want to feel you slide in and out.”<\/p>\n

“Do you get off on this?” Intrigued.<\/p>\n

“Yes.”<\/p>\n

“Really?” Amazed.<\/p>\n

“Yes, yes, yes.”<\/p>\n

“Oh, I see. Hello, I can hear you .” Shouting, amused.<\/p>\n

Male now guttural, ejaculatory uttereneces “Argh, uuurggh!”.<\/p>\n

“I’m going now \u2026” I hang up.<\/p>\n

A voice, received pronunciation, says “Telephone number 0, 7, \u2026 called, today, at, 18, 16, hours”<\/p>\n

NB: For those of you who were wondering, no, this is just a bit of fun. The idea came from a conversation I had with a friend the other day. And no, I’m not telling you what else we talked about \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Note: In the UK 1471 returns the number of the last caller to your landline Riiiing \u2026 Riiiiing “Hello?” A hiss, a scraping sound. “Hello, who is this?” Impatient. A … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3617"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3617"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3617\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexsuze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}