Although I can’t agree with the saying that you never miss what you never had I would have to say that you never realise exactly what you are missing until you’ve experienced it. It’s perfectly possible to hear about or see people doing something and wish you were doing the same but it’s only experience that equips you with the knowledge that you need to decide if you like an activity or experience.
Of course this is a sex blog so I’m talking specifically about sex here and sexual practices though my assertion applies equally to all aspects of life.
We are all naturally curious about all aspects of life and particularly when we hit puberty our inquisitiveness about the opposite sex and/or the same sex begins to increase in intensity. Unfortunately what can happen is that our natural urge to explore and discover is never fully expressed and allowed to flourish for a number of reasons. Society has a tendency to put the brakes on our fun and games leaving us in anything from a state of mild embarrassment to utter guilt-ridden paralysis when it comes to matters sexual. This is quite awful because free yet responsible expressions of sexuality can be the most exciting, rewarding and thoroughly pleasurable experiences any human being can be part of.
How well you are able to explore your sexual nature depends on your upbringing, experience, those around you and the opportunities that present themselves. And to help in all of those areas we now have the Internet. It’s a pity that I still think the Internet is at best not used to its full potential when it comes to enhancing the sexual experience and at worst can be a tool to perpetrate some of the worst pieces of misinformation and exploitation imaginable.
Knowledge is power, as is the ability to spread your knowledge, views and opinions. With power comes responsibility and as is all too common it seems in the 21st century while people are prepared to exploit the powerful medium of the Internet and World Wide Web to further their own ends and inflate their egos.
Do these people not have a conscience? Well the answer is obviously “No”. But more than that they don’t even see it as wrong – is there a difference? Most definitely; Knowing something is wrong and not caring is one thing, not realising that you are wrong to spread deliberate disinformation or unsubstantiated opinion is another thing entirely. I really can’t decide which if any is worse.
Sex is a key piece of our existence and for many people helps define who they are. We all have sex as part of our life, all want to enjoy it and usually do at some point so anything or any individual who endangers that can leave a lasting and damaging mark on us.
Sharing your experiences of anal sex, bisexuality, homosexuality, sex toys, masturbation, sexual health or any other topic in an open and honest way can be so valuable. It can help others exploring the same things that you explore, showing them that they are not alone in being curious and more often than not confirming that we all make mistakes the first time and can teach each other techniques and impart advice. It’s when the experiences we have are expressed as the ultimate and only way to do this or experience something that the problem arises. Because we all have access to everything on the Web does not mean we are all equipped to interpret it in context – meaning that one web page can change the way we perceive something forever.
It’s not that people are stupid and can’t understand what is being said. Nor is it that the authors are necessarily capricious. We are all still learning how to use the new always-on information society and can be overwhelmed by it without even realising.
It can be a troll on a forum, an article in an online journal or a blog purporting to be one thing and in actual fact being another. All forms of conscienceless, reckless, opinionated publication on the Internet have the potential to damage people, either directly by targeting a group or individual or indirectly by spreading damaging misinformation.
The only recourse we have is to read what appears online with a little healthy scepticism and intelligence because we can’t legislate against people having opinions, that is the road to hell. Plurality of thought and expression used to encourage the evolution and growth of our species because it took place face to face, or at least for the most part the originator of a particular idea could be identified.
Now the only moderator is common sense and conscience or those who chose to write online. Let’s hope that as the Internet, the most powerful means of sharing information ever constructed, matures we can keep up with it and all take our responsibilities seriously.