Awkward Conversations

Time was when you could predict the topics of conversation you’d have with your friends and family. But times move on and as I get older the diversity and randomness of conversations I have with people I thought I knew knows no bounds. How’s this for an opening gambit in a conversation from last week. “Would you let a robot give you a blowjob?” That’s exactly what a friend of mine asked. Without wanting to sound too knowledgeable I tried to give him my thoughts on what the best blowjob robot would look like.

As you’re aware not many people know that we’re sex bloggers and sex toy tester s so holding a conversation on the subject has a lot to do with holding back and not giving the impression you know your onions.

I’ll distil down what I said to my friend in a way that doesn’t involve the linguistic and mental gymnastics I displayed to avoid raising suspicion about my very adult profession.

To begin with I’ll dispel a myth, or certainly a misconception about what makes for a good sex toy. Sex toys, and that includes male masturbators and blowjob machines, don’t have to look like the real thing to work well. In fact, trying to look like the real thing can just add complication and indeed impede the effectiveness of a sex toy. Yes, some ladies like a realistic, penis shaped dildo or vibrator. However well constructed non-realistic designs work as well if not better for a lot of women. The reason is simple, sex is primarily for reproduction. Nature made it pleasurable to ensure we keep doing it to procreate. So while sex without sex toys is very enjoyable that enjoyment is a means to an end rather than the end of sex itself.

Now apply this to masturbators and blowjob machines. Of course a fully functional android equivalent of a partner would be great … one with the ability to deep throat you , suck you and fellate you in a myriad of ways. However even if a fully autonomous and accurately modelled android version of a sexual partner were possible it would be fiendishly complex and therefore expensive. Better I think that any device that wants to recreate a blowjob should not adhere slavishly to the anthropomorphic but instead concentrate on delivering the sucking, rubbing and stroking sensations that make masturbations and blowjobs as enjoyable as they can be.

So why wouldn’t you use a blowjob robot?

I for one can’t think of any reasons. All men masturbate, almost without exception. At one point or another in their lives they will have jerked off, alone, with a partner or with the help of a partner. That masturbation may also have included sex toys like masturbators and may have included stimulation with other sex toys. The only new frontier that’s being crossed by using a mechanical blowjob robot would be that the actions of a blowjob are being replicated without the need for your intervention. Instead of stroking yourself, it’s stroking you. Instead of your partner sucking on your dick it’s the robot. The only way to find out if you prefer a blowjob robot to your hand would be to try it and see.

All tech seems new and unfamiliar when it first arrives and new sex toys are no exception to that. Sex has been around as long as we have, making our obsession with it and deriving pleasure from it very understandable. That obsession drives creativity, whether that be our experimentation with different forms of sex or by devising new sex toys as our tech improves.

The answer to the question “Would you let a robot give you a blowjob.” And therefore “What is the best blowjob robot?” will keep changing as we devise more and more ingenious and effective ways to stimulate our bodies. More reason to try these things out and experiment.