One of the things my mother taught me as I was growing up was not to sit on toilet seats because they are often unclean and I may catch something. Which of course can be true.
And to this day I prefer not to sit on a toilet seat unless it is mine, a friends, relatives or in a freshly cleaned hotel bathroom. Especially not the one at work. In my experience girls tend to be very clean when it comes to ablutions.
This isn’t so at work. There is one individual and I’m sure it is one, who has a problem with loose bowels. Stop reading now if you are given to being a little squeamish. Lol She can shit through the eye of a needle and I’m not joking.
I think she could be on medication which makes her very loose. You know when she has been to the toilet because the stink hits you as soon as you walk in. One day I had the misfortune to step through the door as she was washing her hands at the sink.
Now any normal person, being aware that they had stunk the place out wouldn’t have said “come in I’m finished”. Most would have ignored the intrusion and felt slightly embarrassed for making a stink like someone just died.
Where was I…yes, I don’t tend to sit on the seat after her because explodes everywhere, up the back of the toilet and around the underside of the seat. It’s ghastly. I’ve just eaten my dinner and now I feel sick just thinking about it. Lol
So, when I went to the loo today for a pee I squatted like I normally do. I was bursting to go too, I had waited till the last minute as usual and then someone had called me. Delaying me even more.
I took up position with my trousers at half mast and began to pee. The first drops came out and then the steam of pee sprayed out forwards instead of down like normal. Realising that this was happening I stopped mid stream and adjusted myself then resumed my long awaited piss.
It started to spray forward again and then without explanation (can piss explain?) started to go in to the toilet where it should have gone in the first place. After wiping I checked out the state of things. My trousers were sprayed on the back along the waistband and there were a few sprinklings on the floor which I quickly wiped up.
I pulled up my trousers and the cold material reminded me of my mishap. Turning on the hand dryer I reversed my ass up to the outlet and started to dry my trousers, hoping all the while that nobody walked in.
After all, how could I explain drying my ass to anyone. 🙂