Office Gossip

By | October 6, 2006

It’s been a busy couple of weeks at work. I mention that purely because Suze has had to take up the strain with the blog to ensure we publish regularly. And for that I’m so very grateful. It’s times like this that having someone next to you, who you can rely on really counts. It helps if they look like a goddess and fuck like a rabbit too. That’s Suze I’m talking about just in case you were wondering.

It’s the same at work. I’ve had two new clients to take on board, learning their businesses, advising them, and in the process becoming thoroughly knackered. It helps that I have a great bunch around me there too. I don’t normally talk about work as I feel it’d be a breach of my colleague’s privacy to do so. Let’s just say that the team I work within are a great bunch of talented and friendly people. I’d love to tell you some stories about what fantastic people they are, but that would be inappropriate. Particularly as it might reveal identifiable information about them.

However that doesn’t stop me telling you about the last bunch I worked with, as that’s a while back. Mwahahaha 🙂

With that lot it’s difficult to know where to start. Don’t get me wrong here, on the whole they were a pretty good bunch, but boy there were some weirdos.

First of all there was A.  Nice lad, mid twenties, married, one kid, a more detailed description you’ll not get from me. He, shall we say, made approaches, to a young office junior Z (pretty, 19) she stopped me in the break room about three or four years ago and asked what I thought about A. “Nice bloke, pleasant, funny … “. Then she floored me with the fact that she’d been out with him. Now I knew his family situation, i.e. that he had one, and said as much. A had told her that he was leaving his wife and that he really liked her, yada-yada. I counselled her that she ought to be bloody sure about him before she got involved in a messy divorce. Soon after that he messed her around and they broke up.

Well, two years later and Z no longer works for the company but A does. New office junior, B, gets me alone in the coffee room and asks the same question. By the way, A is still with wife and kiddie. He’s spun her the same yarn, and, being an inexperienced young lass she’s grateful for the attention and wants to fall for it. Luckily she asks me first. I enlightened her about his previous behaviour. B was of course very grateful and told him where to stick his proposal.

Two things come to mind.

Firstly, while I don’t like talking behind people’s backs. Some people don’t deserve my consideration. A is a nice guy on the whole, but you have to ask, did he get married too young? Perhaps before he’d spread his wild oats and thus satiated his desire to experiment with different partners? We all make mistakes but why compound that by messing around with at least two other women. And those are the ones I know about. There is no right age to get married, it varies from person to person, couple to couple, but to commit and then risk everything like that is surely wrong. And if things between him and Mrs A are that bad why does he go back?

Secondly, why do people ask me for advice about their relationships?  Do I have an honest face? Or is it, no  … wait … please no! I’m becoming “Uncle Alex” agony aunt (or uncle) to the office. Shit I feel old.

Well, this Uncle Alex thing does have its advantages. Read on …

Don’t ask me how I know this, I’ll never tell, but I swear it’s true. This is probably the best warning for not messing around with colleagues I can think of.

N is a guy who I always thought of as decent, hard working and straight forward. As with A I liked him a lot. Married two kids, late thirties.

I found out he’s been having an affair for a long time, possibly years, but definitely many months with a member of staff (D) in my office. D was obviously happy with this situation as she didn’t want commitment.

Here the plot thickens :). D liked married men as they were less likely to be clingy, she liked the fling but not the ring so to speak. And N obviously enjoyed the extra curricular nookie.

You think that’s good? It gets better, D and N kind of half broke up. He wanted to carry it on, she was not that bothered. During this time D needed someone to talk to, so got chatting to her friend, another female member of staff. It’s when this happened that N found all his chickens came home to roost. You see, previously he’d been screwing D’s friend.

So what’s worse than one woman scorned? That’ll be two women who know each other and know your wife’s phone number. Now I don’t believe they ever phoned her, or ever will and that’s a good thing as there are kids involved. The prickling sense of painful discomfort that he gets every time one of his two former paramours is in the same office makes me smile. It’s like the sword of Damacles suspended above him, he dare not upset them, who knows what might happen. I’m not saying either of the women are blameless either, they knew the score. But some guys just dig themselves into a hole and keep digging.

Like I said, both of the above are true. Don’t ask me how I know, or any more details, that would be a breach of confidence/privacy and I that’s just not on.

Maybe we should start an “Ask Alex” column? LOL