Pirate Sex

I find that there’s something inherently erotic about certain eras and the lifestyle that went with them. Maybe it’s the clothes, the music, the architecture, the food or just the mood of society at the time but the though of being transported to another place in space and time always seems to offer up the promise of exciting erotic encounters.

I have to concede that these seemingly romantic scenarios are heavily edited and idealised. Most of human history has been characterised by the majority of the population being more concerned with survival than art, erotica and social pursuits. It’s only the lifestyles of the rich and priviledged that are remembered and recorded with any clarity. Even the upper classes in English society have often been pox-ridden, lice-infested and suffered from high mortality.

Not the most attractive of lives.

But we see what we want to see and believe that because a certain style of dress or certain era has some attractive aspects the others darker facts about it are inconsequential or simply conveniently forget them.

The fantasy of simple escapism is no different from erotic fantasy of course. What would be the point of having a fantasy where you imagined yourself enduring things that were unpleasant, unless that enhanced your appreciation of the fantasy experience.

The reason I mention this is not so much that I have a pirate sex fantasy, but because of last night’s viewing on TV. We caught part of the US version of Wife Swap where, true to form the producers had pitched an obsessive-compulsive house organiser (it was her profession that seemed to have turned into obsession) against a woman and her family who seemed to be determined to be disorganised, dirty and flea ridden, yes they did have fleas. The latter household was being run on the principles that the family believed to be those of pirates.

This consisted of little or no work, cleaning, tidying or social responsibility, but simply dressing up in cheap fancy dress style pirate clothing and carrying cutlasses. Oh, and going ahh-aaargh! A lot.

Bloody losers. The obsessive compulsive was bad enough but the pirates were running away from this little thing we call reality. The reality is that pirates were criminals, rapists, murderers and thieves. And that was just the good ones. They had fleas, lice and scurvy. They were more than likely to end up at the end of a hangman’s noose rather than lounge around their back yard in their retirement drinking Coors as the modern-day pirate family would have you believe.

How do some people manage to get through their daily lives …

Tags: pirate sex, fantasies, OCD