Sex And Lies

How far would you go to get laid?

I think most of us have told little lies to ingratiate ourselves with someone else for all sorts of reasons, not just sex. I will not call them white lies because a lie is a lie whatever motive you have for telling it. And that’s the point it’s the motive behind the lie that’s important.

Now if a lie was just to get you into bed with someone I’d have a problem with that. But am I alone in thinking that if you lie to spare someone’s feelings, not for your own ends then that’s not so bad? I’m not talking about something life changing here but perhaps “Yes that’s a lovely dress” or “I don’t think she’s prettier than you …”

Actually the last one is quite an interesting lie. Whereas anyone can make a fashion mistake, and believe me I’ve made a few in the past and have oil rags that used to be shirts to prove it, you can’t change the way you look. In this superficial world we live in that often gets forgotten and while there may be women who you find more physically attractive than your partner that’s not what they want to hear. Attraction is about the whole package, personality as well as physical attributes and none of us need to hear that we aren’t as hot as someone else when we need reassurance from our partner.

Telling your partner they are hot is a good thing, because even if they take it as meaning physically your motivation for doing it is because you find their whole packaged attractive.

Personally I can’t imagine trying to lie my way into bed with someone. Lies have a habit of catching up with you so the potential for disaster is quite high. And do you really want to sleep with someone who’s impressed by you misrepresenting yourself?

Here’s an example. I used to go out with a girl who I picked up at my brother’s 18^th birthday party. I’m older than him by a few years but this girl was about his age. We got talking and she made it obvious that she was very receptive to me. I took her home, via a quiet country road, and found her to be very enthusiastic about letting be get to know her. We didn’t have sex on that first date but we went out a couple of days later and let’s just say she didn’t get back home until the small hours of the next morning.

We went out a few more times but things changed somewhat when someone mentioned that one of her friend’s boyfriends had a sports car – and that impressed her. I just happened to have a little sporty coupe at the time and it occurred to me that walking across the car park she’d become increasingly excited when she saw which car she was to be driven home in.

I didn’t score because of the car but it was certainly changed her behaviour and despite being a horny guy in my early twenties I really didn’t like the idea that she was competing with her friend and I was a trophy boyfriend of sorts.

So, any thoughts from you guys out there? Would you lie to get laid or have you been lied to and then found out – what did it do to your relationship?