When Your New Girlfriend Tells You She’s Bisexual

Moving in with your girlfriend is a big step. It’s a point in your life and your relationship where you find out about yourself, about her and about your relationship. It can really put you to the test in terms of both your honesty with yourself and your ability to accept aspects of your partner’s personality that don’t emerge during the dating process. Often these little revelations are amusing, always enlightening but usually accepted as part of the “normal” process of building your relationship. As you can imagine for a couple who write sex toy reviews there are quite a few aspects to our respective personalities to discover!

The mundane nature of this process was rather spiced up by what happened when Suze and I moved into our first flat. While we were moving in and unpacking late into the night I noticed Suze throwing things into a black bin liner rather furtively. When I asked what she was doing she said “Oh, just some old stuff I don’t need any more. I thought I’d thrown it away already.” That seemed pretty reasonable and I thought no more of it until a few months later.

Suze and I had been dating for a while before we moved in together and had a very honest and very sexual relationship. So one night when we were lying in bed what she revealed to me was very unexpected.

Post coitus we were snuggling when Suze decided to tell me what she had slipped into the bin liner. In short they were pictures of Suze and her last girlfriend in sexy underwear. I’ll just analyse that last sentence for you.

“You had a girlfriend?” Was my first question obviously. Suze was petrified that I might suddenly walk out, scream, shout, feel hurt, betrayed … but that isn’t me. I already knew how much I was in love with Suze and this wasn’t going to make a difference. In fact to be honest I was excited that there was another aspect to her sexuality that I had already found to be inventive and exhilarating. She explained that while she had had flirtations in the past and had known for years that she was attracted to men and women the pictures had been of a girl she had a serious sexual relationship with.

The girl was straight, or hadn’t acknowledged her feelings for women so their first time together had evolved from Suze and her friend getting drunk together, discussing Suze buying some new underwear. This had led to Suze modelling the underwear for her friend, the friend checking out her underwear drawer and them both trying on some of Suze’s extensive collection. I suppose it was a kind of soft introduction to a sexual relationship for the girl and because they were the same age, a little drunk and had been friends for a while everything just clicked. They made love several times and at one point in the relationship took the photos of each other and of the both of them together.

“How many girlfriends have you had?” I asked, intrigued and a little excited if I’m perfectly honest. “Not as many as I’d have liked.” Was the reply. Suze has a strong personality but she would not want to spoil a relationship with a friend or potential friend on the off-chance of a sexual relationship. After all if you don’t read the signals correctly and make a sexual advance your friend might never speak to you again.

“So who took the photos? How did you get them developed?” I asked, after all this was before digital cameras were widely available at a reasonable price. “Polaroids. I had a camera and they were a bit crap but they were nice to look at occasionally. And don’t worry I cut them up in the kitchen when I took the bag out to the bin.” Those are photos I wish I’d seen.

When Suze realised my reaction was more “Wow!” than “WTF!” things became more relaxed and since then we have not looked back. Suze’s bisexuality sits well with me and I can’t imagine her being straight.