Bridgette The Midget

Here’s a tip for all of you who are a little bit under the weather and maybe suffering from a winter bug. Being in such a state can impair your judgement a little, as I found out tonight.

My parents came round for a meal this evening, we didn’t get to see them over Christmas as we were seeing other members of the family so it was nice to finally share some festive cheer with them. Unfortunately we’re both a little tired and suffering from yet another cold. The two are connected, I think we’re working too hard … anyway.

We were talking and my mum mentioned that celebrity big brother starts early in January. Suze and I are not big fans as for the past few years the whole big brother franchise seems to have slipped into a car crash of a programme containing nothing but wannabes and Z list celebs. However, my mum is hooked. She listed a couple of celebs who are apparently confirmed and then said “There’s a small person too.”

“Pardon?” I said.

“Well, erm, a midget.” She replied. Obviously political correctness had prevented her from saying the M word straight out.

“Not called Bridgett are they?” I asked. I could feel Suze tense. Then I realised that isn’t the sort of thing you bring into conversation with your mum.

Mum carried on, obviously thinking I had made a weak joke, rhyming midget with Bridget and it transpired that it’s apparently Verne Troyer, or Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies.

So consider yourself warned.