Turn Me On And Fuck Me

Looking back at my sexual preferences and how they have developed I can see a pattern that I think mirrors that which many people would recognise. Your first yearnings are directionless and confusing because of the increasing strength of your instinctive urges. Boys, me included, can be particularly confused when their sexuality first develops as they lack the emotional maturity to put the physical and totally involuntary urges in an emotional context.

I’m not saying girls are any better in this respect than men, as I can only speak for my gender. What I can vouch for is that possessing a sex drive with no means of release is bad enough; but then to discover a release through masturbation only to be told it’s a bad thing to do really doesn’t help matters.

What do you masturbate about? Who do you think about when you masturbate as puberty fucks up your mind? The obvious in my case, classmates, pop singers, all the usual suspects. Subtlety does not come into it. Revealing clothes and sultry looks are enough, so a glimpse of breast or a girl in underwear provides all the impetus needed for a little sexual release.

Of course over time you develop preferences for your sensory arousal triggers. It can be a certain look in a woman’s eye, specific clothing, or the lack of it, a perfume that evokes memories or desires from your past, the touch of skin or a certain fabric. That’s not to mention music, food or even a certain place that might have you stirring in the trouser department.

I know what I like now, but looking back I remember things that once turned me on that I’d now rather forget.

Anyone else like that.