Fucked By The Plumber Or Just laying Pipe?

I just read this rather scathing review of “Too Close To The Sun” in the Telegraph by Charles Spencer.

My favourite quote is, “Robinson is the kind of composer who thinks that if you mention Paris then you must have a snatch of accordion music.”

The comment made me think of really bad porn and the clichés it employs. Not that porn and eroticism are not full of clichés and easily recognisable queues to spark the imagination and fan the lustful embers smouldering inside us. The relatively subtle stuff, licking lips a flash of stocking … a girl bouncing around on a space hopper, no I mean the really crappy stuff.

There’s the pool cleaner who turns up to scrub the tiles and ends up giving the lady of the house a good hosing down.

Then there’s the gardener whose rippling muscles don’t go unnoticed and is quickly invited in to exchange doing a bit of hoeing to doing the ho of the house.

One that does make me laugh is the “plumber” because Not The Nine O’clock news did a spoof of a badly acted porn scene with nonsensical dialogue and acting so wooden you got splinters just listening to it.

What’s really amazing is that power gets away with it, not because of an ironic twist to the script or clever directing making you forgive the cliché because of the great production value but because you get randy and your libido doesn’t have any taste.

Sadly from Charles Spencer’s review of “Too Close To The Sun” the creators of that show may wish they had put more naked genitalia in it to take the audience’s mind off the rest of the show.