Are We Having Sex Yet?

By | January 1, 2011

Man WomanThere is a place for euphemisms. It’s in humour and when you want to describe something to one person, say an adult and not be too obvious to others present, say kids. Of course I’m talking about in the context of sex here and all things sexually related. Unfortunately there are some people and even whole societies that take euphemism s and obfuscation of the truth about human sexuality to ridiculous extremes.

Communication about sex should be clear and age appropriated. It can be serious, fun, educational or anecdotal and so long as that communication is appropriate in terms of tone and the age of the audience then I’m all for it. When communication is stifled and distorted because of moral or societal hang-ups everyone suffers, particularly the most vulnerable – young adults just exploring sexuality.

I’m very much against trying to advocate abstinence as the only form of contraception and abstinence before marriage as the only virtuous option for “good” people. People have been having sex since the species evolved into homo sapiens and while loyalty to your partner undoubtedly developed as society began to form the idea of a monogamous union for life preceded by a sex-free existence is a product of the last few thousand years of our development.

People have sex, kids have more sex. if you don’t equip them for sex itself and the potential consequences arising from those moments of pleasure you are omitting a vital part of their education. The emotional impact of a sexual encounter, be that one night or an ongoing relationship can be as important as the health impact that STIs and unwanted pregnancy can have. To make no accommodation for this is letting our young people down.

We have to give our kids the ability to make informed decisions about their emotions, relationships and bodies. If they choose to abstain then that’s great but to indoctrinate them into doing so and then not equip them for the alternative course that many of them are bound to choose is ludicrous.

Two virgins discovering the delights of another human’s body on their wedding night is a sweet and beautiful concept if it’s right for them, but that doesn’t mean that sex before marriage has to be full of regret and pain caused by ignorance for those who choose that course.