This may sound really juvenile but it tickled me and I went to work with a chuckle this morning as a result and I’m still laughing now when I think about it.
As a child I recall being taken round the zoo and enjoying looking at the animals and their behaviour. In particular the elephants. And you know why don’t you? They would be strutting around with the most enormous cocks hanging down between their legs. Their appendage seemed to have a life of it’s own, moving around as if locating a receptive female.
This brought me and I’m sure many other kids a huge amount of hilarity. Especially if your parents then tried to gloss over it or make something up to explain the animal having the none standard 5 legs. 🙂 In recent years I have had the tables turned on me when out visiting a wildlife park with young members of the family.
I was reminded of the local dog who freely roamed around when I was young. He was a rather over weight and very amorous beagle. Short, stout and quite strong very much like a rugby player. He would wander around all day eating anything and everything he could hoover up, this included the scraps which were thrown out in to the bin behind the local fish and chip shop. He was quite literally like a tank and when he came running up to you could almost bowl you off your feet.
All the local kids knew to stay clear of him if he was heading your way. If not you had to face the consequences. He would run up to you, take your calf between his front paws and pull against your leg whilst at the same time sliding his rear end towards your incarcerated leg.
Then as if someone had flipped a switch he would start humping your leg, and try as you might you could not break free. That dog had a vice like grip and the weight to resist escape. Powerless to do anything other than drag your foot and the dog across the floor, you had to grin and bear it. Alright then, not so much grin but grimace. 🙁
All of these memories came flooding back to me before I set off to work this morning and watched the BBC News with Bill Turnbull and Susanna Reid. One of the features was of a small horse measuring twenty two and a half inches, called Short Man (original I know). They were discussing the charity work the horse does for the Disabled Association with his keeper.
The chocolate coloured horse looked very sweet and well turned out in his black coat, embroidered with gold thread and encrusted in coloured paste. That was until the camera moved out of the close-up shot. As the camera focused out it became apparent that Short Man wasn’t a “small man”. His dick was growing right before everyone’s eyes. I watched in both wonderment and hilarity as recognition hit the cameraman or director and the shot mover back in to one of the horses head and back.
A few moments later they tentatively moved out again and…no there it was again. Oh the joys of working with children and animals. 🙂