I’ve been bisexual since about the age of 13 or at least that’s when it became apparent. Or should I say I discovered I was. My best friend at the time, female I may add, admitted to me that she fancied me as part of her “coming out” but only to me. She trusted me not to tell anyone and I didn’t, I knew she was struggling with her sexuality and I respected that she needed time to evaluate her lifestyle before going public.
I respected her and the courage she had to be true to herself. It’s not easy being gay although I do think girls find it easier than guys because we ladies don’t tend to be as judgemental as guys or feel threatened by it.
Today my friend lives with her long time female partner and is happy, and I’m happy that she is. Unfortunately we don’t see as much of each other as we should but she still remains a good friend and someone who I will always have a great respect for.
This weekend and meeting a gay girl who stirred up my emotions set me thinking again about having a female partner. A “third” if you would. Not specifically someone I would wish to share with Alex but a separate relationship, just me and her. And I know that Alex would respect that because he is a man who is comfortable in his own skin and can therefore give me the space to explore and enjoy the other side of me which is gay.
It’s a long time since I had any involvement sexually with another girl and in a way I had reconciled myself to the fact that I was probably never going to be in that special place again. But this weekend seems to have rekindled long lost desires…