Masturbation Online

This post takes its title from the response I received to a question I posted up to all my friends on a social networking site.

The other day I wrote this post Cock Is Best about the dismissive attitude which seems to exist when it comes to women using sex toys by film producers and some guys.

I decided to run a question on my social networking page to poll the guys I chat to regularly for their opinions.  The results were very interesting.

The question I put to them was, “Why do some men feel threatened by women using sex toys?”

Here are some of the responses I received, which were most enlightening. These guys raise some interesting points which I suspected could underlie the aversion some men feel.

Sean H i dont know why they should feel that way maybe its because they just feel so small compaired too them ?

i know i’m ok with it as long as i can watch or use the toy on the woman so both people have the pleasure.

And Dave makes this suggestion and I suppose he is right.

Dave W Sean has a point on size, but if my partner wanted something bigger i’d rather it was a sex toy than another bloke! x

Gary K definitely points to inadequacy – some guys would feel like they are short of the mark if their partner were to use or introduce toys – these men revert to the basic primal mentality of providing and react unfavourably to their “competence” being challenged – i think it’s a question of duality – does it not often happen that a man finishes himself off when the girl isn’t quite doing it right? X

Steve B Probably cos it makes them feel inadequate or not needed. only guessing tho.

Whilst Billy also raises a good point about relationships.

Billy H suze i personaly dont feel threatened ny a woman using toys i actually find it quite a turn on to see a woman using a toy either with herself or with a partner

my theory on men feeling threatened by this is because they feel that by the woman using toys they feel inferior and are not in a strong relationship i feel that a man should enjoy watching his lady pleasure herself with toys and also i hope the lady feels the same when a man uses the toys hope this helps

It seems frequency of use can come in to the equation too, as raised by Steve.

Steven R its all about trust with your partner,and its ok to use toys on each other,but the regular its done,then us bloke.think thats something wrong,and that the women has gone off us,if it cant be done naturally without the use of toys,but yes its ok noun again.xx

These two guys made me laugh with their comments.

David H Iv never ever felt threatened Suzie! I love my gf using sex toys on herself. It gives me a bloody rest! Haha! X

Stephen M I have no problem with women using toys suze in fact it can be turn on huni and it gives me back a rest lol x

I like Dave’s take on this, he makes a very good point, certainly one I had overlooked, with his response.

Dave W It is a real turn on watching a woman get off with a toy! Also toys can create sensations that no man or woman could ever give, so i think personally every woman should own at least 1 xxx

Here were some more favourable points made by my online friends.

Dave W Dont know, personally i dont feel threatened! if i was with a woman with toys i’d like it! It would make sex more fun, using them during sex and make it easier for me 2 get her off! The idea off knowing she was using them is a turn on xxx

Andy B I aint so have no idea hun – luv a bj wen girl uses toy – but use a strap on to me + I will probs crap meself or want to! Haha 😉 xx

Matt C

Hi Suze, I hope you don’t mind me chipping in.
I personally don’t feel threatened by toys whatsoever and I’m not trying to be clever nor am I pretentiously attempting to state an untruth as so many men do. I just love introducing toys whenever possible as it makes for a varied and fulfilling sex life whilst finding new ways to pleasure each other. I must admit that it’s normally me reaching for the toys so as to use them on my missus in combination with other sexual acts as I just love seeing her receiving pleasure building towards an almighty climax.
I believe that in a truely loving relationship where inhibitions seldom exist, a level of open mindedness is shared along with a low amount of insecurities then there is no reason to dismiss their use.
You apparentl only get to live once and as such you should treat every orgasm you share as if it were your last!

John G just more of an added turn on if a woman is using toys

Courtney B its a turn on to see a woman pleasure herself but its worrying to think about what it will take to pleasure her without the toys

Mike G Never feel threatened by women and toys hun as love the pleasure they bring. I think the guys that do have problems feel threatened because they can’t give the same pleasure.

Overall the response to women using sex toys in a relationship seems to be favourable, with some very interesting points raised.  Is this a typical study group or do you think the ones who objected didn’t tend to respond, therefore creating a false result.

What do you think?