Bad Prostitutes and Happy Hookers

With a few caveats I’m all for the legalisation of prostitution in this country. You can argue that we should legalise the profession because it would help ensure the safety of those in the business, reduce the transmission of STIs by making the use of barrier contraception enforceable and remove a lot of the criminal and exploitative individuals from the game. You could also argue more simply that anything is better than the current situation.

Whether you object to prostitution on moral or practical grounds you surely can’t believe that society can condone the conditions prostitutes currently have to work under, or that by not legalising it prostitution will simply disappear.

All that said, one thing did occur to me just now. If prostitution is legalised at some point in the future, what happens if you’re not happy with the service. It’s one thing to ensure that the women are protected from the clients, but what happens if she’s no good at sex or sucks at blow jobs?

I would have to assume that trading standards would have to investigate and maybe stick a prohibition notice on the offending hooker. So, even in a legal and regulated system there may not be as many happy hookers as you would first think.

Of course you’d have to prove it, but would you want a witness, either in the form of a friend watching on while you received your service, or a video camera? The alternative is one that trading standards officers might welcome – they might have to play mystery shopper and sample the delights of the girl themselves.

It’s a thought.