She’s Damn Hot And Her Name Is Red Mercury

When I was at school there was always a quest amongst certain male members of my class to get laid. I was one of them but I must admit lacked the rabid interest in just getting my end away that some of the others seemed prone to.

I went for trying to be friends with girls, despite my carnal longings because I had always been brought up to believe that there was a little bit more to life than just sticking your cock on any pussy that was available. This led to a huge amount of masturbation on my part, probably more than your average adolescent boy because all that relationship “rubbish” meant that girls tended to regard me as non-boyfriend material until later than I would have liked.

However, enough of my teenage wrist strain.

There is a holy grail of puberty the Stiffler’s Mom of every school. It’s the teacher who shags the pupils. I truly believe that every school has one. A teacher who will give you some special homework, if you know what I mean. The teacher who will give you the lift home and matriculate you good and proper. It will always be the teacher who is a little bit unusual, a bit new-age, slightly different from the norm and not always popular with the staff and parents but gets on great with the kids.

And more than not they are just a figment of the male pupil’s imagination.

We had one. She had curly hair, taught maths and was about 5’1″. She always had an entourage of fifth form boys despite not being the best looking teacher (that was the games mistress, straight out of teacher training college, full-breasted and … whoa there I’m getting carried away). She was reputed to have become pregnant by one of the upper sixth and had it aborted.

All unsubstantiated stuff. All great wank fantasies. It’s probably why I’m so crap at quadratic equations, because every time she leant over me to explain I was looking down her blouse and wondering if she’d suck my cock.

I’m sure almost all of the teachers with such a reputation don’t really exist, but that isn’t the point the fiction serves a useful purpose. If you’re a teenage boy.

They are sexual red mercury, but that will not stop thousands of young boys masturbating to the idea of them every single night.