Fucking Embarrassing
See on your left Exhibit A, a picture of an air hostess looking rather hot. Yes I know it’s Britney “Trailer Trash” Spears, but the Toxic video is a work of genius in the world of shallow titillation. The song, by Cathy Dennis, is pretty damn great too. I’d give Britney’s Toxic a big thumbs up in so far as its pedigree as a piece of pop music/video.
So what am I embarrassed about?
SCOOCH!
Never heard of them? Well sadly I’m going to introduce you to them. See this Wikipedia article and this website for the gory details.
This year England is going to be embarrassed abroad by Scooch at The Eurovision Song Contest. This is the same contest that brought us Abba and therefore one of my greatest early wank fantasies Frida (Anni-Frida Lyngstad). So I’m not knocking the contest, the acts it used to produce, or videos containing sexy ladies in uniform. It’s the fact that while I’m sure Scooch are very lovely people the song is utter crap.
It would be redeemed if it were a great pop song, like say YMCA, which is a great piece of fun. Or if it was seriously shallow rock like “The Final Countdown” by Europe, great for parties but not much else. “Flying the Flag” is none of these and makes me want to cringe. It would make me wince if they were representing another country, but they’re representing the UK. And that makes me want to emigrate to the antipodes.
So what is Scooch’s hook if it’s not the appeal of bubblegum pop? Maybe it’s these lyrics from the song:
“Would you like something to suck on for landing sir?”
“Some salted nuts sir?”
Then there’s the one about blowing up your life jacket …
…desperate isn’t it.
Ah well, back to staring at Frida on the Abba “Arrival” album sleeve …
Tags: Britney Spears,Toxic,Cathy Dennis,Scooch,Eurovision,Eurovision Song Contest,Abba,Anni-Frida Lyngstad,Frida Lyngstad,bubblegum pop,Europe,Final Countdown,The Final Countdown
Oh, it’s that time again for Eurovision? Oh bwoy, I’d better run for the hills!
you reckon they were inspired by the Ralph Fiennes Qantas incident?
Embarassing isn’t the word. Over here in Scandanavia people take Eurovision very seriously. We’ve just had the Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Finnish and Icelandic equivalents of Terry Wogan deliberating over all the entries over four nights on prime time TV. The Danish compere summed up the mood of the whole panel, who gave a unanimous ‘nul point’. “I feel Insulted. This is the nation who has produced five winners and fifteen second places. This is the nation that brought us The Beatles, for goodness’ sake.
The Ukrainian entry is worth looking out for. A short fat little guy with a whiny voice, in drag, with a mirror ball on his head from which projects what can only be described as a phallus. With a star on top. So not over the top then.
This year’s wank-fantasy has to be the Finnish entry, Hanna Pakarinen; a truck-driver from some northern outpost and a hot babe to boot.
LOLOL……don’t feel so bad friend, our country gave the world Wierd Al……and Jackass….and Jack Black…Richard Simmons…I’m not feeling so proud at the moment!! 🙂 Hope you and the lovely Mrs are doing well this fine weekend 🙂
update, i’m watching the prelims now, and gawd..the song ‘Vampires are still alive,’ had me in stitches.
Mr FC, I just checked Hanna Pakarinen out and Oh Wow! I think I feel a holiday in Finland coming on. 😉
this needs to be added to the list of annoying songs that once heard do not leave your brain until you beat your head against a wall in furstation…..
Scooch? i actually had to look it up and giggled…oh my. i guess every country has things that embarrass them….some of ours were already mentioned above….nothing makes me cringe more than Richard Simmons….i mean PLEASE!
btw, I love Europe!!! definitely fun!
You know what I found more offensive than Scooch? The English background commentators who felt that what they had to say was more important/pithy/funny than the show presenters over whom they were so rudely speaking. I mean, who DOES that? Not that I cared for the show, but it was like the English equivalent of a sports announcer talking over the Academy Award presenters.
For a few minutes, I thought someone had left their mic on and they were accidentally caught snarking about what the presenters were doing and wearing and saying. It took me about 15 minutes to realize they planned it that way…geez.
I thought Scooch were okay, and they were unfairly treated by the block voters (or Bloc voters, should that be?)