Nice Girls Getting Nasty
At which point do “nice girls” want to move beyond the hearts and flowers and tender love making to sexual gymnastics, sex toys, whips and chains? I’m not suggesting that all women do want to do anything but make sweet love to the man of their dreams in a pink Barbara Cartland world where nobody says cock and everyone speaks frightfully precisely.
But some do.
And how do you tell who those girls are? It’s unlikely that you’d ask about a girl’s preference in dildos while chatting her up in a bar, or broach the subject of bondage with someone you fancied at work. OK, Suze would but that’s different, she’s a) Permanently up for it and b) used more sex toys than any other woman I know.
Unless you meet someone in a fetish bar you’re unlikely to know that they are into rubber and water sports. If you don’t hook up via a specialist message board you’re unlikely to find an appropriate time to find out if your prospective partner likes swinging until you’re well into your relationship.
Or is that me being old fashioned.
I have overheard some conversations recently where three “types” seemed to appear. I hate generalisations but please regard the following groups of females as just that; generalisations for the purposes of this post.
Type 1: The Denier.
These women deny doing anything sexually adventurous, or even sexual with their partners. Often they have children, but not always if they do have kids it’s unlikely that they were immaculately conceived. I’m not saying that all women who profess to be sexually averse or inactive are hiding their true nature but in some cases I think the lady doth protest too much. That is that they are simply averse to talk about what they get up to because of their upbringing or embarrassment.
Type 2: The Joker
When someone turns everything about sex into a joke this always makes me want to cringe. Sex should be fun and, wherever possible, spontaneous, but giggling about it constantly and hiding your embarrassment behind jokes and the assertion that “I’m only joking – I’d never do that”, does get my goat. I know there are a lot of reasons for this, embarrassment, not getting any sex and immaturity, but it still gets to me.
Often they bang on about how they think men are idiots, or that they are dominant. If only they actually took the time to think about what that actually meant.
They flirt too, but on a clichéd and vapid level that looses its power to raise a smile in response to their quips very quickly. Yes I have seen this around offices I have worked in, and been subjected to it.
I don’t even regard this sort of behaviour as prick teasing or amusing, just tiring.
Type 3: The Perfect Female
Happily, either because of a change in attitudes or the fact that I’m spending more time in the company of porn people, this type of female is becoming more common. The “Perfect” knows what she wants and while she is not afraid to tell you, she also knows when and how to bring up the subject. They’ll discuss (with the right person) their sexuality, fantasies and even which sex toys they prefer to use.
When is important because board meetings and negotiations with clients is not the time to get flirty. Over the Christmas dinner table is not the time to exclaim (in front of Gran) that you haven’t had a good seeing to in weeks and really fancied one of Santa’s elves at the mall.
No The Perfect is at home in her own skin and has a great deal of presence because of it. A presence that I find very attractive as we’re on the subject. I don’t want someone constantly churning out sexual innuendo or being provocative just to shock. I want sophistication with my fun these days.
Aren’t I demanding? LOL
Back to my original question – When do girls want more?
When they are ready and in my experience “Perfect” women want more and know how to get it.
“Perfection” as you call it comes with age and experience. Young girls often fall into that “denier” stage because of their upbringing. Imagine mom and dad saying, “It’s ok honey…masturbation is normal. Yes this is a penis, or better known as a cock. Or even, honey let’s talk about the ‘how to’ of sex.” It’s more like, “young ladies don’t sit like this, talk like that, or do anything more than this”…blah…blah…blah…B-O-R-I-N-G!
“The joker” as you call it, well she is still trying to figure out who she is. She is sexually frustrated and confused. She was taught that sex is only supposed to be experienced between a man and woman who love each other very much, and now she is experiencing “other” feelings and therefore she is confused, scared and resorts to the only escape she has, joking.
“Perfectionism” comes with age (I am 35) and experience. I don’t mean that the woman has to have slept with every new kid on the block and then some, but she has experience in the relationships she has been in. Not only adventurous, but willing to trust and explore within that relationship. That is how women become “perfect.” Those women are often either already in relationships, married or lesbians or bi. They are not rare, but are difficult to find because they are usually attached already.
Good luck in your search. All I can tell you is when you find “perfection” you will know it when you see her. She walks and speaks with an air of confidence and isn’t afraid to speak her mind or do as she pleases. She isn’t loud and obnoxious, but she knows how to command and keep attention. She is often well educated too….think BA or higher. I hope this small tidbit into a females mind helps you.
I would leave my name and info, but because of my profession, I would like to keep myself anonymous. I will check back with you later to see if you have responded or if anyone else has anything more to add….