Non-Fiction

I Love Children But I Couldn’t Eat A Whole One

Suze

Did you guess?  We had little nephew over to stay at the weekend.  Finally got him off to bed at 9:30pm on Friday night after playing hallway football, chase me up and down the stairs, try to figure out which cupboard or draw I’ll be opening next and the wonderful game of, lets turn on the lamps.  On, off, on, off.  😀

He is a real bundle of fun but the downside to him being so inquisitive and his boundless energy level is that we are completely fucked by the time he goes to bed.  And I don’t mean orgasmically fucked either.

We bathed him gave him his warm milk, changed his nappy and put him to bed.  Afterwards we came downstairs and flopped on the sofa to watch some TV and try to regain some energy.  After a few glasses of wine we decided that as he was quiet we would go to bed too.  So with glasses and bottle in hand we headed off to the bedroom.

Several glasses later we must have drifted off to sleep for the next thing we both knew, little nephew was shouting from his room.  He has got to the vocally expressive stage, he can say a few words of necessity like no (his favourite) and yes which is used with caution.  Lol  He was shouting something which neither of us good identify, maybe he was swearing in toddler speak I don’t know.

After changing him and giving him a drink, the plan was to put him in his cot and let him have a sleep.  He seemed quite lively so we tried putting him between us in bed hoping he would settle and fall asleep.  Well he wriggled and squirmed and kept kicking me in the back but me persisted in the vain hope that he would nod off and we could have an early morning shag.

Thirty minutes later…he was still awake and making his bid for freedom by climbing over me and dangling his feet over the edge holding on to the bedding until he slid slowly to the floor.  In the meantime pulling the covers with him and off of Alex.  😀

Despite our desperate attempts to get him off he wasn’t having any of it.  We got up, turned on our computers and headed down to the kitchen for breakfast.  Following breakfast we both logged on to our pc’s to catch up on our email.  Little nephew was contentedly playing with his building blocks in his room.

I was just about to start replying to one of our readers when little nephew came up to my chair waving a Tampax compak at me.  He had a big smile on his face and the look of expectancy.  I grabbed a hold of it and took it away whilst Alex overcame his laughter and sat little nephew on his lap.

I think he believed he had found a sweetie in Auntie Suze’s drawer as he kept saying chocolate in his cute little I can’t quite say it properly voice.  Lol  Tampax ran an advertising campaign months ago here in the UK which pointed out that Tampax Compak were so discreet you would think they were something else, insinuating that they could be easily perceived as a chocolate.

Who said advertising campaigns are unbelievable?

19 thoughts on “I Love Children But I Couldn’t Eat A Whole One”

  1. I remember my son at about 5 or 6, (having discovered that Tampax were ‘something for the ladies’ but still unsure what,) running through the aisles at Boots, screaming “TAMPAX! TAMPAX!” at the top of his lungs. One of many…many embarrassing moments!

  3. Sounds like an exhausting weekend. I don’t mind my own one little girl but when the neighbours children come over, I am always completely exhausted!

  4. You wait till he finds a pack of condoms and invites his mates round after blowing them up for you!! And then, of course there will be the water-bombs….;) Just letting you know how good it can get – LOLOL

  12. Could be worse, I used to fix tellies, one fine day I was behind a telly in a rather nice divorcee’s house chatting idly to her as I checked various things in the telly when I heard the sound of a baby elephant running down the stairs, shortly followed by the door to the living room banging open. Through the door shot a very excited 3-4 year old who completed a circuit of the room and exited, all the time shouting and waving a rather large vibrator! Not sure who’s face was reddest, after all I was only a young 19 year old at the time (I did mention it was a while ago didn’t I?)

  18. Miss U, I think I would have run the other way. Lol

    Ms SD, I’m always glad to give him back though.

    Nikki, I have enough on with the cat most days.

    Sky, OMG! I can’t even begin to think that far ahead. 😀

    Erika, psst, the other image in the shot was my mouse. Lol

    Cosima, I’ll need to become a good liar!

    Sheets, so true, I’m glad I only have him every now and then.

    Mr G, I couldn’t eat more than one. Lol

    GE, we love to have him but it’s great to give him back.

    MS, me too. The cat is enough of a handful.

    Mr Zig, I know, that’s what frightens me!

    Clint, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I don’t think I would have been able to face you after that. The child would have had to pay you. lol

    Jenn, I prefer cats. 😀

    Asterisk, I agree but kids are quite gullible. Thankfully.

    Mrs Zig, you too!

    Boo, aren’t they all…

    Mr Fab, just remember where you heard it first. 😉

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