Monthly Archives: May 2010

Sexy Roleplay

Emma emailed to us as an entry for the Birthday Competition: “Do you get paid for the videos you sometimes show here?”

Well Emma, no. But it’s a great idea! We now have to find someone willing to pay us to show them. While do produce our own sex toy demo videos to go with some of our reviews we don’t run commercial videos. If a video amuses us then it goes on the blog. We have been approached to run videos in the past but they have either been inappropriate or so lame that we couldn’t see the point.

I’m a fan of the Lynx male toiletries advertisements which run on television.  Their advertising team seem to have got the right balance of product placement and sexual content.  They know just how far to push the barriers to clear the stuffy censorships laws we have in this country.

And they certainly don’t disappoint with their latest campaign for Rise.  A very appropriate name for this shower gel and I love the video.  I’m not sure if it’s currently running on UK television but they have an excellent ad.

Busty Barmaids

SuzeBecause of the amount of work we are doing to make these things happen we are not getting time to draw breath and have to force ourselves away from the PCs into the outside world from time to time. This means we have developed a very bad habit.

Once upon a time we would visit our local pub perhaps once a moth for a pub meal and to absorb the characterful atmosphere. I say that without irony and it brings a smile to my lips because the staff and patrons are the epitome of a good country pub. Friendly, with broad local accents, good food, damn good beer and guaranteed to raise the spirits.

They know what we like to drink, know what we always (boringly) order to eat from their excellent menu and even know our favourite place to sit. It’s a bad habit because we seem to go once a week now. However it’s a break from the silly workload we’ve imposed on ourselves so on the other hand a very sensible way of avoiding us going completely stir crazy.

So sitting looking out of the Georgian bay window of the pub I was relaxed and happy. We discussed the sites and the adult biz in a sort of code of nicknames and initials that we have to adopt in public places to avoid strange looks. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted one of the locals sat on a bar stool getting his pint, and a little bit extra.

The guy, about 70 years old, was totally transfixed by the barmaid. She’s a very friendly girl in her early twenties. Today she was wearing a rather revealing dress that displayed her ample bosom in a way that could not fail to catch the eye. It caught his, especially as she was leaning forward towards him across the bar resting her boobs on her folded arms. His age and the generally relaxed mood in the pub meant it hadn’t occurred to her that the poor guy was presented with her immense chest and was struggling to keeps his eyes off it.

It was in its way a charming site. There was nothing sexual in her stance, she was totally lacking in self-awareness, simply chatting to a customer and doing her job. If he had been 40 or 50 years younger she would have been more guarded and avoided presenting herself to him in such a way.

So I nodded to Suze and indicated she looked across at the tableaux at the bar. She smiled.

We do love our local pub.

Surfing For Porn

Red LatextA new study had discovered that the majority of British people surfing the Internet are doing it to find news rather than porn. I know I was amazed too because that puts asunder the common belief that the Internet rose in popularity due to people searching for naughty stuff.

UKOM analysis revealed that surfers use an average of 2.7% of their time looking for porn as opposed to 2.8% who are seeking out news stories.

I must admit I’m still sceptical about these figures but you can read the full article here.

Freaky Sex Addiction

PurpleI was trying to put myself in the place of the son of an 81 year old granddad who had become obsessed with sex since he had a freak accident.  Angelo De Luca had fallen out of a plumb tree at his home in Switzerland and broke 7 ribs resulting in him puncturing his lung.

I’m a little puzzled as to what happened during his hospitalisation but his son now claims that his father has become a sex crazed teenager and has spent £3000 in just one session at his local brothel.

I can imagine that he will be panicking about his inheritance, perhaps his father would find the money better spent in setting up his own brothel.  Lol

You can read the full story here.

French Hookers

Pool AssI found this article on the BBC’s magazine this morning. Have a read then come back here.

It reminded me of school. Whereas the author here had gone to Paris, had experienced the sexual buffet on order, and hadn’t claimed to have sampled the delights of the parisien prostitutes he was like me and my friends at school when people asked him about it.

In the article he’s totally honest about the fact that he didn’t sleep with one of the women he met. He reserves his “knowing smile” for when people ask him about his sexual experiences in Paris.

At school however we would bluff and bullshit our way through our later school years. It’s an odd irony that as you get older you are more prepared to admit that you don’t know something about a subject, or you haven’t experienced something than when you’re younger. As you grow as a person and do gain genuine experience the more you realise that it’s OK to say “I don’t know, I’ve never done that”.

Well for some people it is anyway.

Isn’t it always that no matter what sphere of life you circulate in, be that work or socially there’s always someone who claims to have done it all? It’s mainly, but not exclusively a man thing.

I had a colleague who constantly banged on about blowjobs, anal, scat and worse. And did he talk some rubbish about them. It became difficult to actually function in the office with him droning on about the more extreme stuff. We got the feeling he was compensating for his wife not dishing out the rations. She was a nice, if reserved girl and we suspected a little unadventurous. You had to feel sorry for her. Did she know what he was like?

I suppose it’s a form of Münchausen syndrome, the depserate need for attention.

Bigger Boobs

Ewa SonnetIt’s a fact that women’s boobs seem to be increasing in size. You can tell this from the lingerie stands in women’s outlets. Not so many years ago you would have had to buy large bras from a specialist retailer, now it is common place to see the mammoth sized bras alongside the smaller ones.

When I was a teenager it was easy to find a AA sized bra, which is what I was wearing at the time. All say Ahhh! Now you are lucky to find anything smaller than an A cup on the rails.

I’m so glad that my boobs have become quite ample because there were many problems relating to having small ones for me. Equally having extremely large ones can bring its problems too.

I just read an article in the Mirror about Norma Stitz as she likes to be known. She has a 102ZZZ chest and despite all the problems she faces with such boobs she wouldn’t have them reduced.

You can read the full story here.

I would like mine a little bigger but not quite this big. Lol

Babes, Babes, Babes

Swimsuit blackThe Sun newspaper has a page on its website called superbabes. You can find it here.

Lot’s of celebrity pictures to look at if you’re that way inclined. One thing I did notice though. Some of the female celebrity photos in there are split over two galleries.

It must be a real bummer if you only have one gallery and the celeb next to you needs two to accommodate the paparazzi’s shots of them. Do you think celebs are that competitive? Of course they are LOL.

Nobody’s got three galleries though? DO you think they trim the galleries and keep them to two, removing the older images. Or do you get your own Super-Super Babe gallery at that stage and a page to yourself?

Soapy Tits – Getting Dirty Getting Clean

Dirty CleanThere is something about getting clean before or after getting dirty that is rather special.

Before there’s the anticipation, wanting to ensure that you’re at your best for a partner. Then afterwards getting washed helps you feel refreshed and revived after your exertions. In weather like that which we are having at the moment there’s a lot to be said for a shower …

… and if you can have someone do your back too 🙂

Wet, Wet, Wet

Wet T ShirtWe took advantage of the glorious sunshine yesterday to do a spot of gardening. Well, after I spent the first three hours after I got up working on the sites.

Weeding is the order of the day and while I was doing it I came across some of the local wildlife hiding under leaves in one of the more densely planted parts of the garden. I reached in to yank out a handful of annual weeds loosely rooted in the leaf mould and brushed against something. The something jumped, and so did I.

The frog I had disturbed then sat staring at me, wondering if I was fancying amphibian for lunch. As I carefully weeded around the startled creature it occurred to me. It must lead quite a lonely life. We don’t have a pond and there is no standing water in the adjacent gardens so mating must be a question of trekking across fields and gardens to a suitable body of water and competing for a female to spawn with.

Glad I’m not a frog.

Anyway as it’s hot and a wet T shirt always brings a smile to everyone’s face I’ve posted the picture above. Enjoy.

Wicked Kitty Minge!

Kitty MingeKitty Minge

I love the Internet! You can put in any search string and find something totally bizarre. Lol I entered minge and Google did its thing and brought up all manner of associated links.

Occasionally you find a gem and that is exactly what Kitty Minge is. She is a standup comedian who seems to have done quite a lot to promote the adult industry.

I’m not sure if she is still around but her site is quite amusing and as you can see from the above image she doesn’t take herself too seriously, which has to be good.

Do you think you need a foot pump to activate her. 🙂

Oral Sex

Pamela StephensonI have just read a quick article on The Guardian re a woman’s relationship having broken up because she didn’t want to give her partner oral. As Pam suggests the problems in the relationship were possibly more deep-seated and this could have been given as a reason to terminate the relationship.

Which mad me sit back and think. A relationship between two people is all about give and take and if you really care about your partner you wouldn’t insist that they participate in an act that they don’t wish to.

Also a certain amount of understanding and patience could have been expressed in this particular case. For example they could have tried one of the many fruity tasting body creams and explored licking and sucking that from his member.

She didn’t elaborate if it was the smell, gagging, taste or exactly which part of fellatio she didn’t enjoy to be able to explore these ideas.

It’s a shame really because when two loving adults participate in oral sex it can be such a wonderful part of sex, one which adds to the act itself.

Can I put this question to you? Would you or do you participate in acts with your partner purely for their enjoyment? If so what do you do?

This is an interesting field. If you wish to read the full article it can be found here.

Monster Boobs, Monster Melons

Huge Melons!

Being a lady I know that you can use boobs in many ways. Alex likes to place his head between mine almost asphyxiating between them. Lol Another favourite of his is for me to massage them against his chest. But most of all he loves a tit wank and I love to give him one.

But I have never seen anyone do what this woman does with hers. Check out the video footage it’s incredible in more than one way. 😉

Kitchen Sink Porn

ReflectopornFollowing on from my earlier post about public nudity I thought I had to mention reflectoporn. This particular phenomenon has been bubbling under for years and appears to have originated on Ebay, where sellers would take pictures of nice shiny objects … ensuring that they were reflected in them and naked while taking the picture.

It’s an inventive and subversive way of getting your image viewed by thousands of people if you’re an exhibisionist. Though as you might guess it’s totally against the Ebay Ts & Cs LOL.

While I can’t condone exposing yourself in this way to anyone and everyone as it’s unfair on the viewer and could be seen via minors it does make me chuckle at the ingenuity some people display so they can flash their bits at people.

Here are some examples of reflectoporn.

 

Tits Oot On Sunday

Erica RoweThere’s a tradition in the UK of streakers at sporting events. Not so much recently but when I was growing up it happened occasionally and was the subject of many tabloid column inches. Especially when it was a well endowed woman like Erica Roe. If you’d like to see more streaker pics click here.

I can’t understand streaking. I wouldn’t regard it as personally liberating and judging from the last picture behind the link above it has more to do with commercialism these days than self expression. I mean, carrying the URL of a website on your back as you run naked across the superbowl pitch has to be the cheapest way of getting advertising in that particular sporting event.

What is the difference between streaking and indecent exposure. In the eyes of the law none I suppose, but when you start flashing your genitals about rather than just a full pair of tits it is a little more serious. And if you start manipulating yourself in front of others then the line between naturist and sicko has been crossed.

And that’s where I place the guy from Washington State who was arrested for indecent exposure after members of the public reported him to the police. He was apparently standing above an air conditioner inlet, naked, with a piece of string attached to his penis moving it like a puppet.

His state of mind might be judged by the fact that he’s already been twice convicted of indecent exposure and was in possession of a “pornographic magazine and a quantity of meth amphetamine”.

Housewives And Girlfriends Naked Online

Touch YourselfArtist: Can I paint you naked?
Model: If you like.
Artist: Only one problem.
Model: What’s that?
Artists: I’ll not have anywhere to put my brushes.

Being an artist’s model was once both a respectable and nerve wracking experience. Although artists throughout the ages have needed models to disrobe for the purposes of life drawing and sculpture that artistic necessity must always have made models a little nervous.

Luckily many men and women have been willing to disrobe to allow artists to create the great masterpieces.

Often the models were the wives/lovers of the artists involved, so the embarrassment factor was lessened or absent. This is the case of course when you and your partner decide to take intimate pictures or videos of yourselves. The most intimate being images of you both involved in sex.

That in itself is a dangerous endeavour as if you were to split up … who gets the videos/photos?

An increasing number of people do create graphic and explicit images of themselves and their partners engaged in sex and masturbation for their own consumption. The question is how many of you have considered doing so to post on the Internet, and how many of you have actually done it?

Tech Sex

Sylvia SaintA recent survey of UK couples found that people in tech industries such as programmers, analysts and web designers are more likely to be inventive and use sex toys in the bedroom than their non-tech counterparts.

I don’t think it can be that sex toys are hard to use, but their attitude is obviously more open to the use of aids in the bedroom. And perhaps they are just more adventurous?

Whatever the reason it certainly went down well with the organisation which commissioned the survey, a site dedicated to finding the best price for PS3 games and consoles “www.ps3pricecompare”. So no techy bias there.

Apparently the techies were also more likely to have regular sex and be more considerate to the needs of their partner while making love.

As techie myself I believe this research to be completely accurate in suggesting that we are the world’s greatest lovers. So girl’s, form an orderly queue. LOL

Anyone else have any thoughts on the subject?

Girls And Horses

HorseyI never quite understood the desire to have a horse or pony when I was younger. To me they were smelly lumbering animals that create a load of shit for very little return.

Many years later I discovered that I had no affinity with hoses (I meant to do that) at all. A boyfriend at the time knew someone who had stables and he asked if I could go up for a ride one weekend.

The guy was most obliging and said no problem. Well I got on this huge brown thing and walked around the yard. You would think that this wouldn’t be too challenging. Wrong. The bloody thing wouldn’t respond to the steering at all and insisted on going its own way.

It then decided to feed on various bits of vegetation between the cobbles and the guy told me to pull its head up. I tugged on the reigns expecting it to be compliant. How wrong I was. I’m sure that horse knew I was green and not at all familiar with things equine.

Eventually it got so pissed off it took me back in to the stable block with its low doorway and I nearly lost my head. I had to lay back across its arse to stop myself being decapitated. And this is how low it was… I ended up with grazes all the way up my neck from the wooden lintel. The bastard!

I was reminded of this when reading about Jordan splitting up with Pete last year. It read that she was too tired after a day riding to have sex with him. It made me think. All that rubbing up and down in the saddle. Would that be rubbing you off? Bouncing up and down in the saddle for hours rubbing your clit against the leather saddle.

Uhmmm. Think about it.

One of Alex’s work colleagues some years ago had a horse and admitted to having to clean its dick regularly to keep it free of smeg apparently.

Now I think I can see the attraction of horses … the saddle not the dick cleaning

Another Case Of Lesbian Lust

CropI wrote earlier about having a thing for Kate Moss and how I couldn’t quite understand what it was about her that attracted me to her.  She’s really no my type as far as body shape goes

Miss Moss seemed to be out of limits because despite the fact that she not surprisingly has had flings with lots of people, they have all been men.  Not one lady, so my chances of persuading her to slip between the sheets was blighted.  Ok, let me dream won’t you.  Lol

Then I read today that Courtney (I’ve slept with everyone) Love has made claims in the magazine Hot Press that she had a lesbian affair with Kate back in the 90’s.  It’s hardly the first time she has revealed that she’s had an affair with one of her female friends so forgive me for being sceptical.

That and the fact that Courtney must have a job remembering much of what she did back in the 90’s given her love of excess.

I suppose we will have to wait for Kate to respond before we will know but I’ve got my fingers crossed that this bad girl of the catwalk is perhaps bisexual.  🙂