Pissing Yourself At The Bisexual Flat Share

If you’re a fan of the Channel 4 series Phone-Jacker you’ll be familiar with this little piece of comedy. If you’re not then let me explain. The Phone-Jacker is a crank caller who parodies the disingenuous sales calls, odd telephone conversations from self-important idiots and plain criminal scam calls that all of us have had to endure at some point in our lives.

One of the formats he uses is to advertise a number as a ticket line for cinema or theatre bookings then pretend to be an automated call handling system – a bad one that keeps getting it wrong. The usual result is that the caller eventually simply hangs up in frustration or swears at the call handling system, then hangs up.

A specific variant on this is when the Phone-Jacker pretends to be a letting agent’s system and despite the customer’s best efforts decides they are looking for a “two bedroom bisexual flat share in Wimbledon”.

The voice the Phone-Jacker uses is almost identical to the one used by a national cinema chain in the UK. This was unfortunate as when I was trying to find out the screening times for a movie Suze and I nearly wet ourselves trying to navigate the menu system and confused the hell of ouf the voice recognition software.

I suppose you had to be there …