Non-Fiction

Paris Hilton

Alex

“[she]provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives“. From the BBC’s News Website 09/05/07.

Paris Hilton is a person who both astonishes and amuses me. She stands astride the trashy gossip rags of the world like a spindly colossus. Or more accurately like a wishbone from a calcium deprived turkey. More fat on a butcher’s pencil as my grandfather used to say.

She is the epitome of famous for being famous, has no discernable talent and should really stick to spending her money quietly. Sadly this does not seem to be an option. The woman lives detached from reality for most of her life, her recent statement that she didn’t realise she had a driving ban because “I sign whatever my people tell me to sign”, in relation to the court papers, underlines this.

Sorry Paris the law applies to you too, not just real people.

Then there’s her brand, yes brand. For those sane people amongst you who do not follow her it may come as a surprise that she’s tried to trademark her name, a logo and her catch phrase “That’s Hot”. Personally I thought France had half of her name sewn up, having their capital named after it. Though the lone star state may also have a claim which predates the pouting blonde numbskull. As for the logo, fair enough, if your going to brand yourself pick an appropriate logo. In Paris’ case a Barbi-style tiara, how sophisticated.

Finally the “catch phrase”, the depth and intelligence of that two-word piece of creative genius astounds me, Ok three words if you count “that’s” as 2. But will this mean that you’d have to warn people about to quaff a freshly made coffee by saying “Careful, that’s hot! Trademark Paris Hilton “. Would she demand royalties?

Turning yourself into a brand, isn’t that the ultimate in shallowness? Or is it a search for affirmation through commercial success.

What kicked off this diatribe? Well this story from the BBC news website today. Ms Hilton, drink driving is in my humble opinion assault with a deadly weapon. Being able to pout and create dull , bad quality sex videos does not mean you can plough through crowds of innocent pedestrians on your way to find a midnight snack. If you want food, order a home delivery, if you can work out how to dial the KFC without a butler.

And on the subject of KFC, they’re attempting to sue this pub, the Tan Hill Inn, because they have an item on the menu called a “Family Feast”. Successful as the pub may be I don’t think it’s a direct threat to the Kentucky chicken slaughterers multi-national operation and its squillion dollar profits. Do you?

Tags: Paris Hilton,trademarks,Tan Hill Inn, KFC,Kentucky Fried Chicken,Family Feast

9 thoughts on “Paris Hilton”

  2. Paris Hilton? Arrrggh! What I dislike most about her is that sniggering air of superiority, that “I’m better than you ’cause I’m rich and you’re not.” What rubbish. I’m glad they are enforcing the law against her in L.A. just like she was the same as everyone else. Because she is.

    Late flash: her lawyers are filing an appeal of the sentence. What a surprise.

  3. Hi AlexSuze (or is it Alex and Suze? I’m confused),
    Just wanted to stop by and say “hi” and check out what you’re doing because I recently took over Between the Sheets (http://www.betweensheets.net) and you’re on my Blog Roll. I’ve read a few of your blogs here and there but never stopped to comment. So I thought I would today.

    On Paris – she needs to eat a burger and grow up already. Although, part of the blame has to go to her parents for raising her (or not raising her as the case may be) to be a spoiled princess who thinks the world revolves around her. She kind reminds me of my 12 year old daughter but without the brain!

    Cheers,
    Autumn

  4. There’s an hotel nearby my workplace. Now I can’t help thinking of the royalities she gets at everytime someone spends his/her posh money in there.
    Until a few years ago they were just expensive places for me. Now I see it as a pig bank for some brainless person for whom the theory of evolution doesn’t apply. If she didn’t have all this money by birth she would have been dead long ago as surviving needs to be mentally equipped.
    There’s a funny post on a blog that you could enjoy reading there http://www.saynotocrack.com/index.php/2007/05/07/paris-hilton-and-smurfette-long-lost-twins-2/

  6. “And on the subject of KFC, they’re attempting to sue this pub, the Tan Hill Inn, because they have an item on the menu called a “Family Feast”. Successful as the pub may be I don’t think it’s a direct threat to the Kentucky chicken slaughterers multi-national operation and its squillion dollar profits. Do you?”

    I’m not sure how it works in England, but here in the US, trademark law isn’t like copyright law, or patent law. If you see someone else using one of your trademarked terms, you HAVE to take them to court or you run the risk of losing the trademark. A trademark owner must enforce it aggressively, or lose it. Whether or not the Tan Hill Inn is a threat is immaterial.

    Not to say there haven’t been stupid trademark suits. A few years back Fox made an Australian brewery, Duffs Beer, change its name because it sounded too much like Duff Beer on The Simpsons. Given that “Duff” was the owner’s name, I doubt it would have held up in court. (See also: mikerowesoft.com , Sue Buck’s Coffee, and A R Mani, who got sued by Armani for registering armani.com .)

  7. Someone quick take ALex’s temp… I think he has gone mad! Mad! i tell you mad! How dare you spoil your blogs good name by giving any time to HER! I am so sick of reading, hearing, having Paris and Britney shoved down my throat (and not in a good way mind you!) that I am now officially boycotting them both. Thank you for the push in the right direction.

  8. I must admit to a little disappointment. Having seen a picture of the Tan Hill Inn I thought this post was going to be an appreciation of the great British Pub. A far more worthy subject than the foolishnesses of Paris, Britney et al. The Tan Hill is one of the pubs I really must make the effort to visit, although i have visited the Lion Inn at Kirkby Moorside which is almost as remote and has just as spectacular scenery.

  9. Paris should just (insert valley girl accent) ‘Shut-uuup!’

    Provides beauty…ahhhh…she’s often photographed from one side due to a droppy eyelid, and she has no tits to speak of, and it sounds superficial to say that, but she’s nothing exciting to me. I find Sophia Loren (at her current age) to be more attractive than Paris Hilton aka Canine.

    “If you want food, order a home delivery, if you can work out how to dial the KFC without a butler”

    LMAO…

    She probably needs assistance to work her own vibrator.

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