The Sexy Beast

I wrote this a few days ago but was so furious at the time I didn’t post it up, well it’s here now 🙂 …

I realised tonight that it’s very difficult for anyone whose life is based on reason and logic to accept that they have a more basic and animal nature.

I know that I have a sexuality that often become animalistic and Suze loves it. I know there is a passionate beast because is escapes in the bedroom and makes our sex satisfying  and wild.

Tonight I felt a part of me that is so often hidden because it’s rarely needed. It’s the aspect of my psyche that reminds me of the animal ancestry of every human being. This is a part of me that I don’t deny, I express it every time I make love to Suze, no, every time I fuck Suze. Yet I ignore its existence until something reminds me of how much I depend on the beast within.

I like many other live in a world where it is not acceptable to express you true emotions without a little moderation and filtering. This means that over time I build up a reservoir of tiny shards of annoyance that have no way to escape. Well this evening they all aggregated into a hug mass of fury because of the actions of a two people.

The Fury that resulted was so intense that it has left me feeling drained and acutely aware of the need we all have to release occasionally.

So for that I have to thank the two bastards who have callously manipulated someone who I love.

It’s odd that the individuals involved are so wrapped up in themselves that they will never feel the pure an vital urges that Suze and I feel for each other so I suppose I ought to pity rather than hate them.

They are sad, sad people.