The King Of Ass Sex

I think that regular readers will acknowledge that we are pretty open-minded and accepting here at AlexSuze. So long as it involves consenting adults we’re at least willing to listen and don’t discount things out of hand.

We review sex toys both here on AlexSuze.com and on our dedicated adult product testing site SexToysBuzz.com We even run a newsletter and associated competition where you can win free sex toys.

There are some things that push us up to and beyond the limit.

We were out at a local adult toy emporium today, performing research you understand, looking for new toys to review for you all. Amongst the more usual products we saw item depicted in the image on the left. Sorry about the image quality, my phone’s camera is very grainy in low light and I thought the staff would get suspicious if I turned up later with my SLR and flash brolly 🙂

This is probably the weirdest and scariest anal toy I have ever seen. We’ve all seen the huge rubber penises of unbelievable length and girth, but the “Ass Midget” takes the biscuit. Just in case you can’t see the dimensions on the packaging the toy is 34cm (14″) long and 7-11cm (2.75″-4.25″) in diameter.

And it’s got a pointy hat.

And a face.

And little boots.

The only thing it hasn’t got is a bloody fishing rod!

It’s a pornographic garden gnome.

So would I put it in the garden or up may arse?

Neither, that is one toy that, though undoubtedly unusual, is staying in the shop.